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Question: Is this ending any better!?
Or should I continue working on it!?
A herringbone path hidden,
its entrance overgrown
with years of neglect,
captivates me,
lures me in!.!.!.
what lies ahead!?
The beginning step is a
gentle one,
my foot softly touching
the first brick,
the start of an adventure!.!.!.
perhaps another world!?
Above, trees engulf me,
a shelter from harsh eyes
of the outer world!.
Only the eyes of the trees
can judge me now,
as they sit with their young!.
I wonder,
are they as fascinated with me
as am I with them!?
Flowers sway
with every gentle caress of the wind!.
They elegantly bend,
performing a curtsy,
drawing my eye down,
to look at the softness
of the Earth below!.
Moss has filled every gap,
intertwined with
dew-drenched petals
of tender lavender
and vivid pink hues!.
Sweet perfumed scents
swirl around me,
with every inward breath I take,
locking themselves in my mind,
to never be forgotten!.
The end of this
enchanting journey
creeps up on me,
suddenly I find myself on a cliff,
lost in a gaze,
observing the world below!.
Devoured by routine,
heads bowed,
but never really noticing
the ground on which they walk!.
I, too, go unnoticed,
as I stand above them, watching!.
Sadness overwhelms me as I feel
for these lost souls,
roaming only from destination
to destination!.
If their eyes could be diverted
if only for a second,
this path would be neglected no more!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Yes, yes, YES! Caught my imagination also!.!.!.you may borrow it for only a mo or two!.!.!.I do need it back!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Roaming only, their circled routes!?
Yes, the ending flows and fits with the rest!. My compliments!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
this caught my imagination
well doneWww@QuestionHome@Com
A wonderful ending to a captivating poem!. I wondered where you were going with it, sensing an urgency under all the descriptions of delay and beauty!. It's a beautiful thought, that we should look up more often from our concrete and sidewalk gods, maybe pay attention to the world!. So once again you have managed to be poignant, captivating, and astonishing!. Keep it up!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's a beautiful poem and the ending is wonderful!. I love nature and gardening so this poem speaks to my soul!.
Well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is very good!. You've successfully completed the poem!. I enjoyed the trip!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I have always loved the connection to nature you lace into your poems!.!.!. they always guide me through so many alleys of my mind, sometimes bright other times dark, but always new, and places I never knew I could go!.!.!. you inspire me, I feel so unworthy among so many greats, you NOT being least of which!.!.!. Thank you for your poems and your comments and support for ours!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like the ending of this one
but I never saw the ending of the
previous one!.
This path would be neglected no more
beause it would be repaired or spruced upWww@QuestionHome@Com
Wow!. Now that's poetry!. Good thing at least one of us gets it!.!.!.
I like it entirely!. I wouldn't change a thing!. It's lengthy enough, just the right amount!. And the ending!.!.!.I really enjoyed it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is a unique and beautiful poem!. The imagery is so intense, the poem could be made into a video!. This is what I look for in a poem--can I SEE what is happening and can I FEEL what the poet is expressing!? You've engaged my senses and emotions in this poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com