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Position:Home>Poetry> A fourth poem, I can't stop. Is this interesting.?Question: A fourth poem, I can't stop!. Is this interesting!.!? "alone"
These are mankind's final moments!. No one gets out alive!. Fear is so familiar!. Consumed by genocide!. Victims of the bloodlust, forever in decay!. Living with ambition, the intent to kill!. Immerse yourself in murder!. Kill or you'll be killed!. Head first to the slaughter!. I will walk alone!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I looked over the answers before answering this time, something that I do very rarely, and the lengths some people will go to in order to feel they know something, stagger my imagination!. I thought it rather well done, and in a style I have come to expect out of your "couple of poems once in a while" or however it was worded!. Go for it DP and keep it up!.Www@QuestionHome@Com It had me interested until it stopped rhyming and flowing like it had started out doing!. However, I do love the last line!. It's powerful!.Www@QuestionHome@Com your good with words all you need now is something to sayWww@QuestionHome@Com wow interesting :)Www@QuestionHome@Com I think it is very intresting and definetly unique and different!. I don't know how someone could possibly come up with something like this but you did really good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com really powerful imagery, but i personally like poems with some flow of meter, even if its not perfect!. Its not really that hard to learn to have meter, and with your imagery and ideas I think you could be amazingWww@QuestionHome@Com It is interesting!. You have a few stale words though!. It does make me think!. Are you just talking about racism overall or one particular genocide like rwanda or bosnia!. strong message, but your choice of how you layed out your poem in very few words in a line and alot of lines gets annoying ( to me anyways)!. So if you are going to keep it like that at least have your syllabic correct for each line!. also you did not take advantage of your layout!. Having a few rhymes (most perferred imperfect rhymes for this type of poem) through out would have strenghthened it alot!. The mind would recgonize these scattered yet desecret rhymes!. It would help alot near the end!. People tend to enjoy words that sound the same in poetry!. You have a chance here to use that in an untraditional way!. You said alot with very little words which is hard to do and you stayed on topic without straying!. You used kill to often though near the end, it was repeated I'm sure you can replace one of them ( the first one) with a diffrent more dramatic word!. I know I said more then you asked!. but agian I would like to state : Yes, it was interesting!. You show some talent for an occasional poem or two!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Yes it is interesting!. And well written!. Nice work:)Www@QuestionHome@Com if you dig any deeper, I've got to pull the plug!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |