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Question: Care to read!?
My fear was on his face
Deaths stench, reeked as
Flesh burned around us
The river ran red!.
His eyes mirrored my own
The screams of the dying die out,
But still rang in our ears
The river ran red
He never spoke a word
I silently shared his thought
dragging the fallen from the water
The river ran red
His expressions clear,
Fear, rage, bewilderment’
Gun fire, rang out again,
The river ran red
His blood was on my face
He screamed out in pain
He fell silent an died in my arms
The river ran red!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
very good,
strong descriptive words,
images ran through my mind!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Too long!.!.!. Dont feel like it sorry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it!.
Very good work on your descriptions!.
Nice:)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Some powerful images!. I would suggest some editing to pare down or restate to make the remaining words stand stronger!. An example using your last verse: (only an example)
His blood on my face!.!.!.
he screamed death's cry
now forever silent, in my arms!.
Yet the river still runs red!.
Spend some time, for this has merit and the finished product should be strong!. My compliments for a great start!.Www@QuestionHome@Com