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Question: A poem; critiques are welcome!.!?
Pianist
The silence was preferable, the
silence following that last note!.
Final effort from the exhausted piano,
it took flight and shattered itself
against my calloused skin—leaving
a bloody smear of sound!.
Now I see you’ve taken it up
again!. Fingers grown clumsy
and blind from other pursuits
hobble across the keys!.
Flawed and feeble, it is
the only magic you know!.
Distance has weakened the spell,
stretched it—gossamer skeins
like cobwebs, barely felt on the skin!.
Just enough to annoy, to remind!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This was very well worded , and you surely have better command of language than me !. You have good imagery of the piano being played and the memories associated with this activity -- to me I interpret this as the person not being able to play anymore !. Please don't take offense for I am but a begginner , but I feel something is missing !. What it is I can't help you with , I can only describe that it is the sensation that haunts you after reading a truly great poem , that causes immediate swelling emotion but also in the long term makes the poem's words etch into the reader's mind !.I look forward to reading more from you , and I invite you to gaze through some of my attempts with a critical eye!. Good luck :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Pretty good, thought-provoking!. Good use of imagery!. Just one thing, what do you mean by 'preferable' in the first line!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Its good :-)Www@QuestionHome@Com