Position:Home>Poetry> Run a critical eye over my poem-thing? thanks much?
Question: Run a critical eye over my poem-thing!? thanks much!?
I think,
before I had got there
It was the idea that nothing had changed
which I feared,
when,
perhaps it should have been
the other way around
That I would
imagine
the same picture
but become dismayed
and wearied because
I had lost it!.
Before I had got there
I would not have considered
that it wasn't the change in home
that I ought to have looked for
but rather,
the change in me
that said
there is another place -
now home to me -
which I have just left and am
afraid to lose!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
the first 2 stanzas can be one stanza and they need some economy of words and perhaps some meter!. the last stanza might need some repition, ryme, alliteration or somthing to make them stand out from the rest!.
also the poem i think is talking about changes, or a move and how the change of place isnt as important as the change in the person!. Yet, this is slightly unclear even with what i consider to be my very anylitical and critical eyes!.
All in all its a good start content wise, work on its clarity and its sound!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it, you are very talented! =]Www@QuestionHome@Com
i really like it! it's short but long at the same time and it's well written!
you got any others!? email me please
jarfullofcrazyness@yahoo!.comWww@QuestionHome@Com
Awesom poem!. I like the wordage and use of adjectives but you might want to make the lines longer!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i read this twice!.!. this is waht i got out of it!.!.!.
you are leaving home and you are afraid of losing your family and your memorys!.
i think its awesome!. being a 14 year old 8th grader with a D in english!.!.!. i'd give you an A+!.Www@QuestionHome@Com