A Poem I wrote, please comment!!!!?

Question: A Poem I wrote, please comment!!!!!?

I wrote this comment because i hate people who postpone things!. Especially when i want to accomplish something, in other words, these type of people go no where in life

Your lies and procrastination mean nothing to me
Your dreams and fantasy's will never ever be
Your thoughts and passions are only to make
Your determinism and realism is only a fake
Your view of dreams is walking through mazes
While my view of dreams is going to placesWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I enjoy this!. I can feel your frustration!. Relationships with people do yield different opinions and it is just how each of us want to interpret it!. And if the relationship is getting in the way of what you want let it go!.

The flow of the poem is fluid and the use of "your" paints a picture of someone wagging their finger at someone they are annoyed with!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Nice vocabulary!. Last two lines could do some editing!. Good job!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I procrastinate all the time!. I'm a poet, and I use poetry to procrastinate!. I honestly don't think procrastinating is alway's a bad thing, because "getting places" gets you nowhere in the end!. The best way to live is by believing what you want to believe and letting people believe what they want to believe!. Honestly though, Id give it a 4!.5 out of 10!.

Here's an example of what I can accomplish while procrastinating(it's a lot better than your poem):

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's ok!.!.!.

BUT

I'm a big procrastinator myself!.!.!. I still have dreams and goals for myself that i WILL fulfill!.!.!. just because we put off assignments and such till the last minute doesnt mean we're putting off our futures, in fact I do amazing in school!. You cant really say that people who postpone things will never get anywhere in life because that's not really true!.

People who dont want to get anywhere in life are the people who will get nowhere!.!.!. not the ppl who put things off till the last minuteWww@QuestionHome@Com

You're a poet and don't even know it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

So in other words you like to join the other hyperactive robots of society and live the status quo!. And that's fine!. But don't come down on others who like to live their life in the way it makes them happy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

What if my nowhere was your somewhere!?What if where I am is where you want to be!? Would you consider the vehicle procrastination such a poor choice!?

Procrastination is a vehicle!. did you ever consider it a method of accomplishment!. It is very specific!. In order to get on that train we must have forbearance and the exact fare!.We must be prepared to withstand criticism from legless runners and we must have figured our how to earn the right to travel such a precarious route!. It takes courage to not act when we know we will fall behind, come in last or not at all but oh what a trip!

I guarantee one day you will say" I should have waited , I had the rest of my life to do that but only one opportunity to share the experience with her,or him or them!.

I may sound that I am criticizing your hurry but I am not I am actually happy that you will get there first you can have tea already for m y arrival!. I like honey with my tea!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it! The only thing i would change is the last line, it doesnt quite fit ( sorry, dont mean to be rude )!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I suggest you not to be so judgemental!.!.!.everyone is different and accept them as they are unless they do something seriously wrong!.!.!.but on literary point of view, nice effortWww@QuestionHome@Com

I like it except it's 'fantasies'Www@QuestionHome@Com

Not bad at all!.id give it a 9/10 give it a bit longer perhaps and break it off to a two bit stanzaWww@QuestionHome@Com