Position:Home>Poetry> I put up love poetry and you guys said it sucked, so now I'm trying a differ
Question: I put up love poetry and you guys said it sucked, so now I'm trying a different approach!?
A Day In the Life of the Sun
Rhyme Scheme Poem
The sun bursts through the horizon
The rooster has now cried
The wind did not live for punishment
For it has already died
The sun shines through the glass
Of every house and shack
The bear clan is awake
And so is the eagle pack
The wolves start howl
The owls rest in slumber
The lumberjacks start to burn
What’s left of last night’s lumber
The windows start to open
The streets burst with life
The children go to school
The adults deal with daily strife
The sun shines all day
Fights a couple clouds
The newspaper seller
Sells his papers to the crowds
The sun shines and shines
For all the hours of the day
But now it must go
For it has no time to play
It must illuminate for others
On the other side of the world
For the men, the women,
And the little boys and girls
Everyone is asleep
The humans, animals and sun
Until the battle of night and day
Happens to be wonWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is a delightful poem that flows and rhymes effortlessly!. The theme is a timeless one, and you have given it a fresh touch!. I wouldn't pay too much attention to critics of your love poems!. Many times people say unkind things because they have low self esteem themselves!. If they are as well written as this, then they are obviously good poems!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Lovely:]Www@QuestionHome@Com
Nice Job!. I don't think I have seen any other examples of your work, but if somepeople say it sucks, I wouldn't worry about it, as long as it means something to you!. This is something I wrote recently by the way:
~Another Untitled Poem~
30 years have gone by
in the blink of an eye-
I barely had time to think!.
All the things I could be
if "they'd" just set me free
are running like blood down a sink!.
~
Will I ever do
all that I want to!?
Or is this life just a lie!?
Do I get more than a sweet taste,
or is all this a waste!?
Is it better just then to die!?
~
You may ask why I frown,
why I seem always down-
but you'd never understand!.
I've been hurt many ways- faced lies and betrays,
and only a few gentle hands!.
~
Most of them too, were not really"true"
How can I trust even you won't hurt me with swears and deride!?
I had to seal then,
the part of me that would rather befriend,
at least then, I maintain my pride!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
ooo very nice and catchy!. i like it alot!Www@QuestionHome@Com
really pretty! nice job! : )Www@QuestionHome@Com