Poetry feedback please? (about a breakup)?

Question: Poetry feedback please!? (about a breakup)!?

Your very presence sufficates me!.
I want to scream at you
I want to kiss you
I want to claw at your shirt
I want you to hurt as much as I do
I don't want you to hurt
I want you to feel loneliness
I want you to cry
I want you to miss me
I want to know why
I want you to love me
I want you to go
I want you to look at me
I asked you a question
Why did you say no!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

This sounds more like a rant to me than a poem!.
But it's yours and that's what matters!.
Nice:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well I love the way that you worded it!.!.!.really get s the point across!.!.!.!.very well written!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's ok!. Kind of simple!. use differnet words to express yourself!. All of these are everyday 3rd grade words!. Invest in a thesaurus!. Increase your vocabulary, read some poetry and keep writing, you can do it!. I understand and can feel the anger and pain in this poem, but it does not move me!. It is just there!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Let her go before you hurt her more
Have you seen a doctor about your feelings about another human beingWww@QuestionHome@Com

Too much "I" on the poem!. In a relationship, you can't be selfish!. Put less "I" and more "we" on your poem!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Too egoistical !.!. Frankly if you want people to enjoy your poems don't make yourself the center of the world , people don't give a damnWww@QuestionHome@Com

Honestly no!. Its way to simple, there is no rhythm in what you made!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Basically, your poem isn't a peom for me to say but simply a monologue!. Please delete all " I want you!.!.!.!." these three word!. Mingle all emotions, your thoughts into an complex poem more complicated for people to figure out what you felt and thought will earn a lot of credit!.!.!. Please redo it again!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

This sounds more like a list of bad things you want to happen to the person rather than a poem!. Still, if it prevents you from doing violence to the person who said "no," it was worth writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!.!.it kinda shows like how many different feelings there are in a break-up!. Very good!Www@QuestionHome@Com