all of us live within a dream
afraid to wake
afraid to be
and no one knows when death is near
still we sleep
and still we fear!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
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Position:Home>Poetry> This is the first poem i ever wrote and it is still unchanged?Question: This is the first poem i ever wrote and it is still unchanged!? all of us live within a dream
afraid to wake afraid to be and no one knows when death is near still we sleep and still we fear!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Excellent, precise, concise, thorough, breaking poetically through the illusion we all share!. Don't change it!. Keep it a good while!. Then look at it again!. Whatever your doubts are about it now, those doubts are coming from your sense of insecurity which writers never remove themselves from!. Especially poets, who must draw form sheer perception, the essential!. To me you are MOST UNDOUBTEDLY SAYING : We all spend our lives within an illusion afraid to see the truth, than face it for what it may really be Not willing to accept it and live by that difficult challenging Truth!. Not one of us has the a hint of life's end yet still we prefer the illusion we create!. (collectively!) And yet a fear remains because we know we are lying to ourselves!. The above is what I derive from your poetic simplicity!.!.!.you however have had the clarity of mind, the talent, to grasp from Pure perception the essential, Lovechilde, which is our life is spent upon an illusion, not the truth!. And our fear is that THAT bubble of pretense will burst! Keep Writing!. Whens ever you feel you are doubtful, but a little voice from inside tells you, don't rearrange, don't rip the paper, show me respect!. Then show your "First Impression" perception respect!.!.!.set the poem aside, until you can read it again with purely objective eyes!.!.!.not eyes biased!. I will recommend this book for you!. You will know/respect how to train your "First Impression" mind much more with well founded trust afterwards : "Writing Down the Bones!." written by a poetess, but I can't remember her name!. Have the store agent look into the computer for a copy of it, if it is no longer on the shelves!. For shere nurturing of your poetic spirit, my recommendation is : Rainer Maria Rilke's "Letters to a Young Poet!." This book will teach you how to best handle the poet in you!. Allow it to emerge, in clarity!. also, patent your work!. Even early work!. You don't want to reach a stage of creativity, where your work has brought you success and then discover some one else has seen your work and has pilfered it For a first poem,t yours has amazing perception, wisdom, sad resolution and brevity!. KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You owe yourself keeping the gifts you are given - and by them accepting their grace!. Grecia!.Www@QuestionHome@Com If it is your truth, then nothing I can say will ever change your mind!. I am more inclined to say that we all live our lives in a dream like state and death is another dream where we cans till find those who have passed on still living!. Therefore, death should not be feared!. Some of us may already live there in other peoples dreams!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Not bad for you first try, remember this is your world and you are the painter!. Who can tell you, you are wrong!? I know the feeling for I have been there many times when I was younger!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Lovechild this is great,So this is the one that got you started!.cool !.Well keep up your great work as i and we love reading them!.!.!.Cya CamiWww@QuestionHome@Com Best leave it unchanged: it is a very sophisticated poem!. This is my first Thistles are nasty Thistles are pretty Thistles are brown green, purple and prickly!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |