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Question: Tremble In Prayer: poem critique!?
I
Never had the time of day
Until I found you sitting in darkness
Feeding on
Your emotions decay
You
Your eyes are so violent
And your soul so cold
But your heart is some how
A whole
I
Watch you tremble in prayer
Never losing your stare
Eyes burning through me
And seeing into my mind
You
Are an irragation of lonely
An ocean of Hell
A rogue in vain
An angel that fell
I
Look at your shattered wings
Your sirens song beams
Through the skin of all the evil beings
Your halo is broken
You
Sit and tremble in prayer
Hoping God will hear you
But it's already to late
The wait you can't bare
As you tremble in prayerWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It is always nice to see quality work here!. I enjoy searching out others of a similar heart to myself, talking about poetic inclinations!. Some try so hard and produce so little, and I see their effort and heart in the words but the voice doesn't reach the heights they hoped!. Others have all the rules down pat but do not have the spirit!. You have reached a happy medium where the balance is kept and you add another dimension of strength through the power of your own thought!.!.!. It is rare to see so much power, I am glad I found this and I thank you for giving it!.!.!.
Blessed BeWww@QuestionHome@Com
Terrific imagery, I could feel the smut on my own fallen soul as I watched hopless humanity flogging themselves with worship!. This was absolutely staggering, loved how every stanza began with "I"!. The lines "A rogue in vain/an angel that fell!." were truly beautiful!. For in the end, a rogue is without faith, and without faith one is nothing!. So the one praying is in effect the one greater than the speaker of this poem!. At least they believe in something greater than themselves!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i have to say, there is A LOT of emotion in that poem, it really makes me feel something, but in a way it's really scary!.!. i'm not sure i like the i!.!. u!.!. thing in it though, you might want to arrange it a different way!.!. otherwise flawless!.!. bravo!Www@QuestionHome@Com
It DOES have a lot of emotion! It's a VERY great and beautiful poem!. Keep writing!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com