Position:Home>Poetry> Which of my poems are better? and why?
Question: Which of my poems are better!? and why!?
i fake a smile and laugh
around my friends
but behind those walls in my room
!.!.!.i cry and try not to let anyone hear
my friends say what's wrong i say nothing
but it's all a lie
i am broken
broken on the inside cause he isn't time
or
When I truly listen to my heart
It says I love you
But then…then…
My brain says no…you can’t
But I feel SO much for you
Some say love, others say a crush
I say I care for you
I have never been your girlfriend
Just a friend to you
But I want you, need you
Each year my feelings…
They grow and become stronger
They drive me insane
How I wish I knew what it all means!?
All the feelings for you
And I wish I knew what this is I am feeling!?
Yes there is more fish in the sea
But it’s only you…
Only you I want and see
Yeah their a lot of OTHER boys around
But the more I spend time with them
The more I want you
And yeah people say move on
But I say how!?
How!?
sorry i am a bad speller, what can i do to make them better!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
you are faithful to your true feelings !.!.
very few people have this bless !.!.!.
fight for what you believe is yours
and dont give up easy !.!.!.
even if you finally lost the battele
you well then move on
with clear conciuose and no regrets!.!.!.
just trust your heart
and dont listen to people around you
when it comes to your feelings!.!.!.
there is no such thing called being lucky in love !.!.!.
good luck is an award to the ones whom deserves to be lucky !.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I carry a dictionary with me all the time because I also carry a pencil and little note book to write down poems that come to me where ever I am!. It helps trust me!. I like the second one better!. I would say for you to read, read, read other poets poetry to see how they write and this will help you write your own!. It helped me!. I studied other poets poetry to see how to write it!. Try it, it works!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
They both are really good but the first instead of friends say
what's wrong and i say nothing but it's all a lie you could go [friends say what's wrong it's a lie as i am broken!. really nice poem too!.keep writing okWww@QuestionHome@Com
there good!.
lots of enjambement used
and alot of rhetorical questions
i like it =)
its got real enthusiasm in it!.
i think you could build a rhythm scheme
but the again i dont think thats what you were aiming for =/
maybe use a few other words then you!.
its repeated alot!.
apart from that i love it =)
it empphasises love and youve done it in a good way!.
very lovely =DWww@QuestionHome@Com