Position:Home>Poetry> POEM!!! U like it?
Question: POEM!!! U like it!?
"Free"
As the girl sits on the wooden bench in the middle of a garden
with the sun on her face,the wind through her hair, and the smell of flowers all around her,!.!.!.she closes her eyes!.
She listens to the birds in the sky,flying through the glorious white clouds!.
And as she does this, she starts to fly with them!.
She walks the rainbow,slides down the waterfall,stands on top of the Eiffel Tower like the Staute of Liberty!.
Because thats what she was,but not a statue!.
More like an angel of liberty!.
Thats what she felt like!.
For once in her life she was free!.
---A!. Jay Harmony
age:14Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
YOU
are a very special rose like no other rose
A ROSE
made from pure ice in a garden of flames
A FLAME
glowing with dark wishes through walls of dangerously happy thoughts
A THOUGHT
that with all my existence i want to carry u in my arms
MY ARMS
are hesitating with love and fear as YOU might melt in my handsWww@QuestionHome@Com
sorry but thats called prose!.!.!.!.!.theres a line between free verse and prose!.!.!.!.!.!.and another line between prose and crap and you crossed both linesWww@QuestionHome@Com
Hey, chill, NV4L!. It's not crap, it's good!. And there is such a thing as prose poetry!.
On that note, if you want to make it prose poetry, eliminate the line breaks you have!. Make it into paragraphs!. I suggest eliminating 'because' in 'because that's what she was, but not a statue,' and change 'but' to 'only!.'
If you want it to be more 'traditional,' try to shorten up the lines and work with internal rhymes--like rhyming the vowels in the line itself instead of at the end of the line!.
Otherwise, I really like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
honestly, its not much of a poem!.!.!. you should just make it into a paragraph because thats pretty much what it is!.!.!. its not horrible!.!.!. but i dont think its that great either!.!.!. i love the idea but it think you should rewrite it cuz the wording is a little funny!. if you plan on making it a poem, you need to have some sort of rhythm or rhyming going on becasue this poem is pretty much just a small, badly worded, paragraph that is separated by the enter button!. i really really like the idea though! just try again =] good luckWww@QuestionHome@Com