Could you critique this poem please?

Question: Could you critique this poem please!?

Fallen:

I fell for your looks
I fell for your smile
But then we talked for the first time,
And I really knew…
I had completely fallen for you

O you looked at me,
Didn’t bat an eye
But I saw you, for what you really were
And I fell all the harder

Girl you might not care
Not one ounce in the world
But I just want you to,
I just want you to…
Know I’ve completely fallen for you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Okay, I'll give you a few pointers
"Who the heck are you" you may ask,
don't worry about it!.
I'm good at this, trust me!.
Bottom Line
It's decent and it has potential
it's in a good song format!.
In the lines of poetry however, your phrasing is a little trite and overused and with THIS KIND of poetry it's very important to keep rhythm!. Rhyme is not as important here as rhythm and flow!. If it was free form, than yeah, forget it but here, find a set rhythm!.
There are four main rhythms, (you probably know this so don't get pissed off)

Accent = /, beat= -

Anapestic /--/--/--/--
like a rock beat in 3/4
Iambic -/-/-/-/-/
like a disco nn, cc, nn, cc
Trochaic /-/-/-/-
and
Dactylic, like in the Lord of the Rings
/--/--/--/--

Bottom line, keep writing, don't quit and you'll get better,

keep your stuff so you can go back and improve!.

email me if you wantWww@QuestionHome@Com