URGENT HELP NEEDED. this is my last revision. what do you think?

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Question:

so, you might have read this one quite a few times before but this time, i think this is really my last revision!. :D on a scale of 1 to 10, how is it!?

Writer's Block [v!.5]

The sun has set!.
My pen sleeps peacefully!.
Sheets of snow
Spread across my desk!.
Growing higher, heavier!.
Even colder with each breath!.

I sit amid winter!.
Within, I fight storm!.
The skies spew whips
The earth below wavers!.

I close my eyes
And wait for the dawn,
For golden warmth of rays
Amazing how it's cold!.

suggestions and comments are welcome, too!. :DWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I really love it!. I write poetry too, and I know you can get alot of criticism about it!. Poetry is not about what other people think though!. its about how you feel!. It sounds really amazing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I don't know about the ending!.!.!. i really like the beginning, although when you say "even colder with each breath" whose breath are you talking about!?
also within what you fight storm!? when the sky spews whips, are whips actually bursting out of the sky!?
just suggestions!. it has a great start, it's just the ending is slightly abrupt and confusing!. I'd say 7 with potential of 9!.9-10Www@QuestionHome@Com

its nyc buh sumtyns missin!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com