Position:Home>Poetry> Am I choking on this poetic pill? May I have your criticism?
Question: Am I choking on this poetic pill!? May I have your criticism!?
Inspired by Grannyjill (again), I've written this poem!.
I Can't Swallow This
Grannyjill climbed up the hill,
But not in search of water,
She brought a rather bitter pill
For grandson and granddaughter!.
The children had a passion:
They wrote poetry and song,
Then in her unique fashion
Granny always found them wrong!.
"Your meter's off by just one beat,
You've missed a comma here,
I feel you should accept defeat,
It doesn't rhyme, my dear!."
"You started out with seven beats,
Now you're doing six and eight,
This isn't really good poetry
Because the rhyme and meter are off!."
Granny dear, we love you,
But wish you would just read the poem
And enjoy it and show appreciation for it
And also for the hard work of all your grandchildren!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I'm sorry if I've hurt your soul
But don't ask me to lie
If you ask me what I think
I cannot just pass by!.
I can't help who I am you see
But, if you'd rather not hear
I will not critique anymore
(Did some-one give a cheer!)
Poems don't have to rhyme or have perfect metre UNLESS you are trying to write a poem which asks for that - Rondeau, Villanelle, Quatrain, Sonnet!.
And despite my hippie inner soul, I am a perfectionist - and I beat myself up far more than I beat up others!.
Kisses from Granny =)
I loved your poem - but, now the last verse!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It has story and is well developed!.!.!. although the chosen topic is not very moving or deep!. I guess im a fan of love and philosophycal poems = P!. But good job nonetheless!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
funny and cute poem i like itWww@QuestionHome@Com
I admire Grannyjill and I also admire your poetry too!. I like what you are trying to say here!. Reading what is written is just as good as the way it is written!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Elaine, you have gotten off easy since wandering around at six to eight pace you go jumping to 13 at the end!. I have always found that those that have a critical eye often anguish over their's most!. Grannyjill's comments seem to uphold this belief!. A critique from either of you though would be one I would take seriously though, as I have read your works and do admire!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Choke,Choke!. Man that was a bitter pill,I gag on It everytime!.
I agree with Elaine P!. It`s hard to swallow that kind of critisim
all the time !. Even If you don`t agree with the poem, know
one,and I mean know one should have the right to stomp all
over your work!. I`m not saying you have to give all positive
comments,but If you really have to let the ssshit fly then I
believe you should turn It down a notch!.None of us like to be
critized!. It hurts!. Especially when some of us were raised
with parents like that!.Some of these trolls that come on these
sites go out of their way to give you the most hurtful answers!.
Come on people!. Grow up!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Now, younguns' as the second elder here (Robert is older than I) and plugging in my thoughts (which are these)!. I'll never be a master- content with that!. I offer (usually) humor!.!.!.and that's difficult to critique!. However, if I were striving to be that master poet/ess-despite the slings and arrows (which admittedly do hurt) I'd swallow my pride and strive to achieve that which was being offered!. We learn by trial and error!. So, having stood on my soap box, I'll creep back into the shadows!.!.!.savoring my coffee and wishing you all a good morning!Www@QuestionHome@Com