"DEATH?" An acrostic poem?

Question:Give me your honest opinion.

Death?

Falling gently to my knees,
Alas the smell of earth.
Thinning grass and humming bees
Have witnessed my rebirth.
Everything is fading to
Remind me I must go.

In the end what once was new
Must die to help things grow.

Calmly all has turned to black,
One thread of thought remains.
Many have gone down these tracks
I'm free now from my chains.
Nothing more to do but wait,
Give time to clear my mind.

Having not a thought of hate;
Off lights begin to shine.
Making darkness turn to light.
Empty spaces fill with life.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Give me your honest opinion.

Death?

Falling gently to my knees,
Alas the smell of earth.
Thinning grass and humming bees
Have witnessed my rebirth.
Everything is fading to
Remind me I must go.

In the end what once was new
Must die to help things grow.

Calmly all has turned to black,
One thread of thought remains.
Many have gone down these tracks
I'm free now from my chains.
Nothing more to do but wait,
Give time to clear my mind.

Having not a thought of hate;
Off lights begin to shine.
Making darkness turn to light.
Empty spaces fill with life.

its decent i guess im not expert so my opinion is
the stanzas dont really express different specific points or anything, and there isnt really any amazing imagery
it actually sort of seems completely random in places which is not the point of poetry at all.
its cool how u had it spell out father im coming home which does sorta tie the whole thing together.. but to improve it id make the lines and the rest of the poem less arbitrary.
my teacher always says that every word has meaning and is placed there for a reason in good poetry

and sorry im just trying to help make suggestions to make it better... im not trying to be rude cuz its a good start imo
u cant get better if people just say "good job" u know. thats what people say bout my drawings so i hope u dont take my advice the worng way and sorry if any of it is stupid like i said not an expert

GOOD!! :D

I like the message down the side..
I also like the question mark after 'death'. I think it's significant.

Very Good.........and very well done!

Very good poem, but I hope you latch on to some other subject (life?)
(smile)

wow, upon seeing it again, it is about life, ultimately and a beautiful one at that. (smile)

I really like it. It was easy to read and it made you want to read more. Can you please be so nice to help me with mine.

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