Rate this poem plz?

Question:You pour your heart out
while the eagles await for their order
yet you wear a mask
from those who you share the blood with (or the bears you can hug)

I know the word choice isn't really great but the message I have hidden is I think pretty good. But what does it mean to you?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: You pour your heart out
while the eagles await for their order
yet you wear a mask
from those who you share the blood with (or the bears you can hug)

I know the word choice isn't really great but the message I have hidden is I think pretty good. But what does it mean to you?

Hi Nassah, Why do you knock the language you use??
If the words and there meaning are real to you they are.
Do not apologies. Words are like paint we use them to paint a picture, what you have painted is a very sad picture full of pain and anger.
The "eagles" to me they are an army.
The "mask" a way of hiding or a disguise to wear when fighting the enemy, perhaps.
Nassah my friend, are you in danger or your family??
Are you safe??
I hope I am wrong about the message in your poem.
Please let me know.
Good luck my friend.
Cathorio.

hmm, no idea what it means and i thought it seemed like a teenagers whinning (isn't all poetry, someone's whinning?)

in comparasen to most people work on here you get a 6.5

Martial Arts Freak....stick to martial arts if you can't appreciate poetry. it's not all whining. (or whinning, whatever that is)

i think...the message is interesting, but the words need work, to convey the message effectively. leave it for a while, and then rework, rework, rework. maybe you'll be inspired to expand it, or maybe you'll just alter it. well done for being able to see that it isn't perfect - that's a step in the right direction.

7 outta 10

I'm lost in a forest and I am about to be attacked by bears. The eagles are going to feast on my flesh.

7--I can guess what I think is going on here. You feel like those who are close to you are ganging up on you and you hide your real feeling from them?

Poetry should be for you, so your word choice is for you, no one else.
Certain words have a special meaning for me that I'm sure is different for you.
But to me it sounds like you hide your feelings because of what family has done to you before. That they act one way and are really another. (kinda hard to put it) I give it a 6, it's pretty short.
Anyway nice work, I like it:)