A poem about depression, what do you think?

Question:How?
Daniel Stine ? 2008

How can one be full of emptiness?
I feel like I’ve just taken a long piss,
all the warmth has drained from my
body leaving behind an uneasy void.

It’s inexplicable, unreasonable, entirely too fashionable.
Its sporadic, chaotic, damn near psychotic.

How can nothing weigh so much?
I feel like gravity has an effect upon my spirit,
dragging it deeper and deeper to the Earths core
hollowing mortal flesh and encumbering brittle bones.

It’s indefinable, undeniable, definitely undesirable.
It’s prevalent, relevant, never benevolent.

How does one battle a ghost?
I feel like I’m swinging a sword of futility
against an opponent who knows every chink
in my spiritual armor and there is no winning.

It reeks of weakness, bleakness, incompleteness.
It’s acrimonious, heinous, anti-harmonious.

How can a chemical have an unseen reaction?
I feel like the laboratory within is experimenting
with dangerous new compounds that threaten

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: How?
Daniel Stine ? 2008

How can one be full of emptiness?
I feel like I’ve just taken a long piss,
all the warmth has drained from my
body leaving behind an uneasy void.

It’s inexplicable, unreasonable, entirely too fashionable.
Its sporadic, chaotic, damn near psychotic.

How can nothing weigh so much?
I feel like gravity has an effect upon my spirit,
dragging it deeper and deeper to the Earths core
hollowing mortal flesh and encumbering brittle bones.

It’s indefinable, undeniable, definitely undesirable.
It’s prevalent, relevant, never benevolent.

How does one battle a ghost?
I feel like I’m swinging a sword of futility
against an opponent who knows every chink
in my spiritual armor and there is no winning.

It reeks of weakness, bleakness, incompleteness.
It’s acrimonious, heinous, anti-harmonious.

How can a chemical have an unseen reaction?
I feel like the laboratory within is experimenting
with dangerous new compounds that threaten

It's very descriptive & wreaks the fury of accuracy. I love it all, save the one thing that bothered me. The last verse, though it holds much truth, it stands out from the rest of the poem linguistically. Perhaps if it were not so literal, it wouldn't bother me, but that's just my opinion.

depressing

that is deep and meaningful and very depressing.
if you are depressed and i am guessing you are....seek help my friend as you are not alone.

Personally I think it would be a lot better without all of the two line stanzas of adjectives in between. Adjectives should be used sparingly in poetry because they tend to be subjective, and because of that they don't help to convey an emotion because they carry very little weight on their own. The main stanzas however are really good, you convey depression in a new and interesting way, and while I wouldn't say I exactly *like* it, the first stanza is really powerful in the way that it automatically conveys this feeling of emptiness, and it's a situation that everyone is familiar with and can therefore have some understanding of the emotional emptiness it is being used to convey.

depressing in a sense that it's literal. lacks a bit of spark for some reason.

dont like it so much, its not because its depressing. I just think its over done, maybe do less. I dont know how that can be made possible LOL. Im sorry i cant elaborate on what im saying for you to understand.

I like it and I think it is more clever than depressing. I dissagree with the pissing. Nothing, and I mean nothing feels better than a long piss.
I can see this as a performance piece. With a little over acting I think it'd be funny.
In its length, it looses its cleverness and the alternate ending blows. I think you've made your point a lot sooner than the poem ends.