Something dark for a Sunday afternoon, how is this.?

Question:"forgive"

I can't seem to close my eyes,
Staring at a blood filled sky.
Feeling trapped and full of lies,
Death's mighty pull is on my mind.

Lonely thoughts, they cross inside,
Nothing is real it's all disguised.
I loathe this world, I hate the strife,
But most of all my worthless life.

Preperations well advanced,
Velvet palls and jasmine masks.
Cobras shed at once their skin,
Won't someone here forgive my sin.

Finally free, this hellish life,
Dead and cold no grieving wife.
As you know all roses fade,
This is it, my last parade.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: "forgive"

I can't seem to close my eyes,
Staring at a blood filled sky.
Feeling trapped and full of lies,
Death's mighty pull is on my mind.

Lonely thoughts, they cross inside,
Nothing is real it's all disguised.
I loathe this world, I hate the strife,
But most of all my worthless life.

Preperations well advanced,
Velvet palls and jasmine masks.
Cobras shed at once their skin,
Won't someone here forgive my sin.

Finally free, this hellish life,
Dead and cold no grieving wife.
As you know all roses fade,
This is it, my last parade.

Self is an aggregate, and we do not pick and choose how our self is composited. People tend to make a pretense of standing beside themselves and judging their performance based on some external standard. It as though we believe there is some way things "should" be, rather than simply accepting that anything that should be, would already be.

You are what you are, and you have done whatever you have done. If it is advantageous to change how you choose to behave, then do so. Holding youself to an external standard is equivalent to saying that you are subject to some predetermined path from which you have somehow strayed.
That is the illusion of self.

However, if it eases your mind to participate in the illusion then I, at least, forgive you.

-greeneyedevil

fairly dark, but yes I like it! Dont have the mindset that you need rhyming, its holding you back, you can achieve much more

For some reason this one brought to mind a soldier, airmen, sailor, or marine struggling with the horrors of war and the atrocities thereof. I had to pause from it for a minute. This one has a voice all it's own. This one has gone through puberty and become an adult with hard knocks! Standing O!

war

I liked it a lot. Kinda like the way I`m feeling.

I'm in a dark mood. The last verse was particulary relevant.

I think it takes a military background to see what Semper saw, but I did the same. I felt a battlefield full of sorrows and death, much the same as the ones I saw in Vietnam during TET. Well done.

i really liked it. i always find your poems so dark and... well, mysterious. it's like, letting little bits of yourself be released out to the world at a slow, heartbeat way. i really love to read your poems, and, try and think of the story behind them. anyways, i loved your poem. beautiful. =]

very deep and strong.....great work once again

Your poem's content is very hopeless sounding. 'Won't someone forgive my sin'? you ask............my dear friend, the Lord Jesus of the Bible has already forgiven your sin. What you need to do is accept it, and move forward in the love He has for you. God can most certainly take away the darkness in your life and give you a reason, a wonderful reason to live.

The poem is well written........let's see what you can do with a poem after you have accepted the forgiveness you have in the Lord Jesus, and the transformation this will bring to your life. God loves you, and so do I !

Why so dark? I hope this not goodbye for it is very good. I have been there and know the feelings of hopelessness but there is tomorrow.

I've found the lyrics!!!!! why do fools fall in love!
by Frankie lymon
"oh wah, oh wah, oh wah, oh wah, oh wah, oh wah
Why do fools fall in love?
why do birds sing so gay?
And lovers await the break of day
Why do they fall in love?
Why does the rain fall from above?
Why do fools fall in love?
Why do they fall in love?
Love is a losing game
Love can ashame
I know of a fool
you see
for that fool is me
Tell me why, Whyyyy, Whyyy
Tell me why
(Background Music)
Why do birds sing so gay?
And lovers await the break of day?
Why do they fall in love?
Why does my heart skip a crazy beat?
Before I know it will reach defeat!
Tell me why, Whyyyy, Whyy
Why do fools fall in love?(Hold Long) "

lol it rhymes pretty well too! must people always think you are gonna commit suicide when they read your poems? my god...if you were then i'm pretty sure that you wouldnt be here telling us about it but planning the letter, the way you are gonns kill your self...and other things i wouldnt know of because i had never tried before....would you prepare a will when you are about to commit suicide? hm....i wonder.....oh well....i think i babble too much.....
* ^('-')^ step away from the key board!* lol i really like how you used the metaphors and personifications....i dont even know what i'm saying anymore...lol dont listen to me...i'll just suck oyu into my stupidity....lol ok....i need to stop talking......
~Grasshopper

Fear not, Coop366, Dark Prince writes extraordinary Poetry, dark, pensive, moody, at times yes, in regards to true life, this poetry seems to be an end, but it isn't (as far as I can tell - personal opinion), just an outlet (again, a personal opinion), just as poetry has to be for some. Enjoy the writings of this extraordinary Poet.

thanks for sharing

Death instinct seems to be at work here...