Interested in reading my first poem?

Question:Our hearts searched blindly in the early morning darkness:
The empty night impervious to our cry,
Unfettered by the clock and the destined rising sun,
We only saw black stars in that sky.

O! But then a glimmer of light pink came into sight—
For just a second, and then it was gone,
Then it was back with a rush of gentle hues and light shades,
The sun was upon us.
We knew a glorious summer day had been made.

We basked in the warmth for hours we swore were minutes,
Taking for granted those generous golden rays,
That poured down like raindrops from Heaven.

We sat on the valley floor and looked up,
A foreboding breeze blew down,
And shook the leaves from the tree on which we leaned.

I cringed at the memory of the dark night I'd left behind

But you took my hand,
You held me close,
You whispered something in my ear.

Now we sit and watch the sky glow wildly:
Brilliant shades of red and orange,
As feelings of sorrow surround our hearts,
It's a secret that we know:
As the red sun dips down behind the mountain,
It's just the ebb and flow

We have nothing to fear in this place,
It is sacred

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Our hearts searched blindly in the early morning darkness:
The empty night impervious to our cry,
Unfettered by the clock and the destined rising sun,
We only saw black stars in that sky.

O! But then a glimmer of light pink came into sight—
For just a second, and then it was gone,
Then it was back with a rush of gentle hues and light shades,
The sun was upon us.
We knew a glorious summer day had been made.

We basked in the warmth for hours we swore were minutes,
Taking for granted those generous golden rays,
That poured down like raindrops from Heaven.

We sat on the valley floor and looked up,
A foreboding breeze blew down,
And shook the leaves from the tree on which we leaned.

I cringed at the memory of the dark night I'd left behind

But you took my hand,
You held me close,
You whispered something in my ear.

Now we sit and watch the sky glow wildly:
Brilliant shades of red and orange,
As feelings of sorrow surround our hearts,
It's a secret that we know:
As the red sun dips down behind the mountain,
It's just the ebb and flow

We have nothing to fear in this place,
It is sacred

It looks really good and beautiful.
I say 'looks" because I'm french, and poetry cannot easily be translated. But the same, I loved your poem.

This is REALLY good.
You should write more and think about getting published if your not already.
Whats the title though?

its nice but i could not understand it

somewhere its happy and somewhere its sad

i was confused what actually u were trying to convey
are u talking about heaven or some nice beautiful place

but a gr8 poem never the less

For a first poem you did well. You did start out with a rhyme scheme though then left it so when you do that it throws the reader off a little. Read, read, read poetry and you'll figure it out. Don't stop. You have good ideas.

A poem is not "supposed to be." A poem just is. One of the great joys of reading poetry is that the poem reflects the image of the reader. We see who we are, sometimes even before we see what the poet sees. Telling us what it means is like reading the last page of a mystery novel before starting at the beginning. I was all set to critique this, because I think it has value to me. Next time curb your enthusiasm.

I would say that if this is your first poem, you have done a very good job. You seem to have an instinctive feel for making word-pictures; this is good!

I'd suggest reading more poetry to get a feel for what word-picture poetry is like. Here's a link to one of my favorite poets, but there are a lot more out there. Maybe visit your local library and go through the books on poetry until you find one who seems to echo your own "voice", and learn how they use words and scenes, to help polish your own work.