Do you like my poetry?

Question:here it is...

''Empty Vase"
Bring me
An empty vase
To pour my heart into
For I have loved and lost and lived
And now I think I'm through
I hoped to god
That I would shine
For days and days apart
And now as I gaze
So back very far, I see it was all in vain
For the pain I feel
Will not recead
Until I'm clear at heart

Please critique... (if you know any thing about poetry)
I want to know what I could do make it better... (I know some poetry terms so be specific)

I really love literature...
and might pursue a career in it.(when I'm older, I'm only 13)

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: here it is...

''Empty Vase"
Bring me
An empty vase
To pour my heart into
For I have loved and lost and lived
And now I think I'm through
I hoped to god
That I would shine
For days and days apart
And now as I gaze
So back very far, I see it was all in vain
For the pain I feel
Will not recead
Until I'm clear at heart

Please critique... (if you know any thing about poetry)
I want to know what I could do make it better... (I know some poetry terms so be specific)

I really love literature...
and might pursue a career in it.(when I'm older, I'm only 13)

i think that it doesn't make sense, like it itn't flowing in my mind.
it is kind of confusing.

good idea. but i would suggest to have a better flow and using better words to describe your feelings you are trying to protray in the peom.

i like it

good job, and good luck!

i love the part saying "To pour my heart into For I have loved and lost and lived"

the poetry is nice =)

Empty Vase? isn't that from friends? Sorry, hate the poem.

it is beautiful

I think it's quite deep and beautiful...keep up the good work. You might want to try to get into Creative Writing and Journalism when you get to high school-that's what I did..I have always been a writer as well.

Wow, i think its pretty good, especially since you're only 13. I think you could have a career in literature. I liked your poem

i only like poetry that rythmes but it was really gooooood.

loveee it

very good, just double check and edit, use a speel checker too. very rythmic, i think you could do with a better title....

I think its very good! I can almost connect and see what you are feeling. I'm going through something sort of like that........

I think it was well done! If i where u I might change the wording up! Just a tad on some lines i'm not exactly sure what else would make it better ,but keep on writing ur pretty good! Luv ya!

I don't like it because my style is very dark-kind-of stuff, but for your age it is good. Im an unpublised writer of poetry and other stuff. You have future kid... Keep it goin !

its good.. just try to use better words than the ones you're learning in 7th grade.
just practice and you'll get better

Wow, seems written by a much older person. You definitely have a way with words and a high creativity level... Add some life experience and you've got something going.

Handy hint- I think the best poets write for their own enjoyment. Whether you're "recognized" or not should be irrelevant.

For I have loved and lost and lived
And now I think I'm through

Your a thirteen year old schoolboy for god's sake! You're not Odysseus on his death bed

I've taken a few poetry classes...if you email me the poem i can send you a critique of the more popular categories like: alliteration, imagery, sound, voice, figurative language etc..its ok but you can do a few things to make it a lot better..my email is qdaddy1418@yahoo.com

boy keep up the GREAT Work i loved that

For 13 you write very well. Keep on writing and studing the arts. Now, don't start cussin' Missy. That's not nice.