Improved poem, need more opinions and constructive critisism.?

Question:It might take a few entries to get the whole thing in (damn character limit). Here is my improved poem. Is is better than my last one? (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;... Do you have any other suggestions for how I could improve.

Anyways here it is:

Ever consider what you’d do
If your life would end on this day?
Would you end life in happiness,
Would you let these last moments stay?
If today truly was the end,
Would it be an amazing day?
Or would it be most horrific,
Ending in distress and dismay?
What would you do on the last day,
To tie up all of your loose strings?
Would you fill this day with pleasure,
Or other, more meaningful things?
Just think about what you would do,
And if you would truly do it.
Would you really have all the nerve,
Or end happy if you blew it?
What I’m really trying to say is,
Life will come and go anyway.
We never know when death is near,
And how long our lifetime will stay.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: It might take a few entries to get the whole thing in (damn character limit). Here is my improved poem. Is is better than my last one? (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;... Do you have any other suggestions for how I could improve.

Anyways here it is:

Ever consider what you’d do
If your life would end on this day?
Would you end life in happiness,
Would you let these last moments stay?
If today truly was the end,
Would it be an amazing day?
Or would it be most horrific,
Ending in distress and dismay?
What would you do on the last day,
To tie up all of your loose strings?
Would you fill this day with pleasure,
Or other, more meaningful things?
Just think about what you would do,
And if you would truly do it.
Would you really have all the nerve,
Or end happy if you blew it?
What I’m really trying to say is,
Life will come and go anyway.
We never know when death is near,
And how long our lifetime will stay.

its very good although you drifted from the theme of the poem at the last part (but if you don't want to take my advice fine, I don't know much about poems anyways". I liked it a lot. On ly one critique: estrofas should be short not long maybe you should try separating it will be much more organized and when things are in short sentences it gives it a lot of dramatic effect.

i didnt read your last one but i liked it very good.

I read your last one and I think I like this one better. You did an excellent job. Your last one was good but this one is better.
Good job.