Prima Donna - critique, please. Must be constructive.?

Question:Prima Donna dances
Lavished in her pink lace and heart lockets
Her form displaying yearbook quality.

She begins to drip black, acidic sweat
Onto her entranced audience
Setting their skin afire.

Prima Donna watches, gazes on,
As the thrashing and screaming begins.

Not a hair curls out of place
On her perfect head.

And she stands, as a cactus might,
Tall and ignorant to the area around her

And never taking a step towards
Or back from the chaos she caused.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Prima Donna dances
Lavished in her pink lace and heart lockets
Her form displaying yearbook quality.

She begins to drip black, acidic sweat
Onto her entranced audience
Setting their skin afire.

Prima Donna watches, gazes on,
As the thrashing and screaming begins.

Not a hair curls out of place
On her perfect head.

And she stands, as a cactus might,
Tall and ignorant to the area around her

And never taking a step towards
Or back from the chaos she caused.

I like it a lot.

Not cliche and simple rhymes.

I like your structure and flow.

Good imagery too.

Only thing I can comment on..
about the cactus stanza...

I would add another descriptor to the catcus line..

like

"She stands cemented in place as a cactus "
"Her soul warped and dry"
Tall and ignorant to the area around her

I don't know if that was what you were aiming for... but even if you just wanted to add

and she stands, as (rigid) as a cactus..
I think it would end it perfectly

If you were going for the nonchalant tone for that particular line.. I think you should keep it how it was

Maybe you could add a title to suit the mystery of the damage she has done.

Other than that, I think it is a wonderful poem

I usually HATE the poems that are posted on Answers, but this is awesome! And I love how you're also telling a "Carrie" like story as well.
I'm a writer myself, and this is honestly very well done, right up my alley. You definitely got talent! My favorite part is "Prima Donna watches, gazes on,
As the thrashing and screaming begins."
You really are gifted. Good luck!

Very nice, I too got the carrie feeling from this poem. I love poems like this and all I can say is good job Keep writing.