What do you guys think about my poem? check it out. :D?

Question:august

you took my hand and told me were friends
you draw me closer and held my head to rest
i felt the warmth of your wake brushed my tears away
then i told you, "i love you, i still do today."

i thought those days would make a new start
i thought those moments won't make us apart
just when you said you still love me, i gave a soft cry
you gave me a hope that soon we will continue and try

we walked under the rain and hands were connected
i waited for your words as glances coincided
everything was in place but my heart was longing
you caught me in your arms and shallows were yearning

for three weeks, my patience have subsided
im neither blind nor deaf; it's not me you still wanted
you concealed yourself with those abrupt lies
your sudden change, no reason i could find

you never gave me a chance to prove myself to you
you left me unreasonably, what can i do?
these emotions i feel is an absolute burden inside
i always thought you never loved me; you let me die

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: august

you took my hand and told me were friends
you draw me closer and held my head to rest
i felt the warmth of your wake brushed my tears away
then i told you, "i love you, i still do today."

i thought those days would make a new start
i thought those moments won't make us apart
just when you said you still love me, i gave a soft cry
you gave me a hope that soon we will continue and try

we walked under the rain and hands were connected
i waited for your words as glances coincided
everything was in place but my heart was longing
you caught me in your arms and shallows were yearning

for three weeks, my patience have subsided
im neither blind nor deaf; it's not me you still wanted
you concealed yourself with those abrupt lies
your sudden change, no reason i could find

you never gave me a chance to prove myself to you
you left me unreasonably, what can i do?
these emotions i feel is an absolute burden inside
i always thought you never loved me; you let me die

First of all, I like the imagery but you need to work on grammar. Some words need to be changed to become a little more effective. Your rhyming is just a little off. You have good ideas now work with them. It's a good poem it just needs a bit of tweaking.

i love it.

Great. Good words, good rhyming.

cool :D

does the story happen in the summer? is that the "august"?