So what do you think of this one???

Question:Can you guys tell me what you think of this poem?? What it's about? If it's good? Grammer? Also look deep into the words? When it says this word, what do you think it's actually saying, as well as sentences! P.s. It goes into the extended details, Cause it's long! Thanks in advance!
It’s a fantasy that will never come.
It’s one that everyone seems to think they will never have,
But they do. They have the dream every day.
But for me it seems it will never come. I almost have it,
But I never quite get it. Just when I think I’m there,
I wonder if I’m worthy of this dream, this fantasy,
Where you could see these lights in the sky exploding all over.
How many times did I almost touch it, how many times was I there,
But it spit me right out. This fantasy I have longed for, for so long.
This fantasy where everything all of a sudden all around you looks
So perfect and beautiful, that you wouldn’t change it if you could.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Can you guys tell me what you think of this poem?? What it's about? If it's good? Grammer? Also look deep into the words? When it says this word, what do you think it's actually saying, as well as sentences! P.s. It goes into the extended details, Cause it's long! Thanks in advance!
It’s a fantasy that will never come.
It’s one that everyone seems to think they will never have,
But they do. They have the dream every day.
But for me it seems it will never come. I almost have it,
But I never quite get it. Just when I think I’m there,
I wonder if I’m worthy of this dream, this fantasy,
Where you could see these lights in the sky exploding all over.
How many times did I almost touch it, how many times was I there,
But it spit me right out. This fantasy I have longed for, for so long.
This fantasy where everything all of a sudden all around you looks
So perfect and beautiful, that you wouldn’t change it if you could.

Did you write this? If so, is it based on experience? Is it a fantasy, or did you have a vision? I ask this because it makes a difference. If you'd rather answer the question in private, please email me at newpoetspress@yahoo.com.

As far as the poem goes, it's too unfocused and meandering. I know what you're trying to say, because I've seen it, felt it, been there, done that. I can tell you have something to say, but you spend too many words getting there...there are words like "breathe" that should be "breath", but other than obvious edits, the entire poem needs to be tightened up. Yes, I know, it's difficult to put "it" into words, but that's the job of the poet...and you took too many to get there...so you need to try again. Remember, you're not writing a diary entry, you're supposed to be creating images that invoke more than the words themselves describe.

...but I can hear a poetic voice trying to get out...so keep writing...and feel free to email me on any particulars you'd care to discuss.