Do You Like My Poem # 8?

Question:I know this poem is negative, but I'm posting it anyway. I want 2 know what people think.

This Relationship Is Over

This relationship is over,
There's nothing more to say,
You cheated, you lied, you broke my heart,
And I will make you pay.

I'll take away your hapiness,
I'll throw it in the bin,
I'll take away your perfect world,
And you'll pay for your sin.

Oh why did you betray me?
You had a perfect life,
And now that you've destroyed all that,
You'll never be my wife.

Relationships are based on trust,
And now I don't trust you,
You never loved me that I know,
Leave you I must do.

This relationship is over,
There's nothing more to say,
You cheated, you lied, you broke my heart,
And I will make you pay.

I'm not sure if I should replace the line "And I will make you pay" with "You spoiled a perfect day". Which one would be better?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I know this poem is negative, but I'm posting it anyway. I want 2 know what people think.

This Relationship Is Over

This relationship is over,
There's nothing more to say,
You cheated, you lied, you broke my heart,
And I will make you pay.

I'll take away your hapiness,
I'll throw it in the bin,
I'll take away your perfect world,
And you'll pay for your sin.

Oh why did you betray me?
You had a perfect life,
And now that you've destroyed all that,
You'll never be my wife.

Relationships are based on trust,
And now I don't trust you,
You never loved me that I know,
Leave you I must do.

This relationship is over,
There's nothing more to say,
You cheated, you lied, you broke my heart,
And I will make you pay.

I'm not sure if I should replace the line "And I will make you pay" with "You spoiled a perfect day". Which one would be better?

i think it was good, any of the lines r ok, but i think wich ever one u think is bertter :)

Yes I would swap those lines, that last one kinda sounds megabitchexgirlfriend

But obviously its personal to you, so its gotta feel right for you

WOW ! I'm impress did you writ it yourself it was one of the best negative poems I ever read. I really loved it . And I think you should replace the line "And I will make you pay" with "You spoiled a perfect day" It has a better sense and it goes with the flow. Anyways hope you like my answer and I hope I get a best answer !

I think you should stick with "And i will make you pay", the spoiled a perfect day line would be way more personal, but only you would get it... the way it is now makes it more general.

I see this is about bitterness
along with sadness
it talks about relationship is over
this happens when there is betrayal
and deceit.
The line that says you cheated lied breaking
the heart says it all.
It is true that relationships are based on trust
but also communication.