Is this a good poem? ill post 2... comment plz!!?

Question:Hes still here and i miss him

I miss him already
He's not even gone
love died on my lips
like an unfinished song
I watch him leave
helpless to stop him
why does he go?
does he know i adore him?

Pillow is soaked
With heartbroken tears
feeling so wronged
I'm living my fears
Emotions are raw
Love disintigrated
where is he now?
My dreams are so faded

He may never know
how i gaze at his smile
He wont forget.
In complete denial
gorgeous hazel eyes
haunt all my dreams
girlish emotions
ripped at the seams

Runaway heart
It tries to return
To realize he's gone
feelings to burn
I cant forget
so ill just wait
true love wont dim
maybe its fate.

You remembered

When we started
There was us
Simply me and you
Many starry' nights we shared
Whispered "I love you's"
Love as clear as midnight air
Hugs beneath the moon
Nothing ever would impair
But it happened much to soon
You forgot me

You went away just leaving me
Heart broken right away
I sob myself to sleep at night
Hidden from the day
My life is like a shattered vase
Life broken in despair
I simply can't escape your face
Can't act like I don't care
And I have been forgotten

We were together
Like two makes one
Light as a feather
But now you're gone
I loved you more than anything
Thoughts of you would make me sing
Why did you forget?

I miss the smile
That played with your lips
The way you made me laugh
How you said we'd conquer the world
A whole that takes two halves
But now you left, and we're apart
You never mentioned that
Why did you forget?

My dreams lie broken on the floor
I cannot pick them up
Running through my fingers
Like an overflowing cup
Why did you forget and leave
I'm all by myself
Memories bring only sobs
Without offering of help
Why did you forget?

Then one day
I see you coming
Walking up the lane
Sobbingly I choke out
"I'm so glad you came"
You held me tight
We cried and cried
Both of us together
And now those starry nights are ours
Because you remembered

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Hes still here and i miss him

I miss him already
He's not even gone
love died on my lips
like an unfinished song
I watch him leave
helpless to stop him
why does he go?
does he know i adore him?

Pillow is soaked
With heartbroken tears
feeling so wronged
I'm living my fears
Emotions are raw
Love disintigrated
where is he now?
My dreams are so faded

He may never know
how i gaze at his smile
He wont forget.
In complete denial
gorgeous hazel eyes
haunt all my dreams
girlish emotions
ripped at the seams

Runaway heart
It tries to return
To realize he's gone
feelings to burn
I cant forget
so ill just wait
true love wont dim
maybe its fate.

You remembered

When we started
There was us
Simply me and you
Many starry' nights we shared
Whispered "I love you's"
Love as clear as midnight air
Hugs beneath the moon
Nothing ever would impair
But it happened much to soon
You forgot me

You went away just leaving me
Heart broken right away
I sob myself to sleep at night
Hidden from the day
My life is like a shattered vase
Life broken in despair
I simply can't escape your face
Can't act like I don't care
And I have been forgotten

We were together
Like two makes one
Light as a feather
But now you're gone
I loved you more than anything
Thoughts of you would make me sing
Why did you forget?

I miss the smile
That played with your lips
The way you made me laugh
How you said we'd conquer the world
A whole that takes two halves
But now you left, and we're apart
You never mentioned that
Why did you forget?

My dreams lie broken on the floor
I cannot pick them up
Running through my fingers
Like an overflowing cup
Why did you forget and leave
I'm all by myself
Memories bring only sobs
Without offering of help
Why did you forget?

Then one day
I see you coming
Walking up the lane
Sobbingly I choke out
"I'm so glad you came"
You held me tight
We cried and cried
Both of us together
And now those starry nights are ours
Because you remembered

Those are some nice stuff. Did you write that? If so, you good.

DANG!! those are soooo good! i love the words you use!

No to long make them sorter but very good

I like the use of "adolescent" diction, as well as the ABAB rhyme scheme you have implemented.
The theme behind the poems is not understood by me, because the feeling of longing, and love; just doesn't exist in my life.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOW, really nice poem
I really like the <story> (I had lived the same thing )

Love them, I do
I tell you it's true
Keep writing, you should
Really I would!

It's great that you are expressing yourself but what the common person considers to be good poetry is not. Read poems by people such as Whitman, Dickinson, or even Poe and you'll see what I mean. I don't suggest you take what I am saying seriously though because if writing the way you are is helping you get through hard times then keep it going. However, if you want to be a published poet, I suggest classes and I guarantee you will flourish.

Love is grand and as sharp as a knife, life is good and at other times its very hard.

Nice, poem..

Mark