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Question: Unconditional love or else!?
thinking about sacrifices, what is the first thing that come up to your mind!? i used to think of it as an act of unconditional love!. then i started to think, well my friend brought it up to me and made me think, that it also can be an act of selfishness!. loosing someone you really love always sucks ! and it breaks your heart knowing that you can see them again, touch them or just hear their voices!. so choosing to sacrifice yourself to them is the same as choosing them to feel the pain of loosing you!.

i always say to myself, if i had this deadly sickness like cancer or stuff (not that i have it now or pray to God to have it or anything) i would never do the treatment that cost my parents or my loved ones a fortune and still have to buried me in the end!. see, the reason why i chose to act that way is because i don't want my parents to feel the burden and spent all their money on nothing!. they could use it for their own future which they know they'll had!. at first, i thought it as an act of sacrifice!. then my friend, dara, said i was being selfish!. i didn't think of their feeling, the pain they felt!. but now, what if the condition is reversed!. like, a mom who went to a fire just to save her baby and died the next day, isn't it also selfish that now her baby doesn't have a mom anymore!? or, like a dog who tried to defend his master and got shot by the bad guys!?

saving our loved ones lives is an instinct and we always think that it is for a good cause, that they can continue to live and grow up and have a future!. but, have you ever realized that perhaps, the minute you give up your live for them, their own live is altered big time!? some people can move on but some can't!. and what if, your daughters, or your lovers, or your parents are the ones!? and if this is the case, what's so great about sacrifice!? or better yet, the root of all sacrifices, what's so great about unconditional love!?

the point is, you want them to be happy, sacrificing or not sacrificing, it's their happiness you put before yours!. now just think, are definitely sure that they're really 100% happy being saved!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Do you really think that most people, who make such heroic self sacrifices, actually think about sacrificing themselves so that other people live, when they know they won't live!. That would be a very rare occurrence!. I think it is more like they forget themselves while trying to save a loved one, or even a complete stranger, arguably hoping that both they and the other person will survive!.

But unconditional love is not, necessarily, a self sacrifice, which requires the extinction of one's own life to be unconditional love!.

Aristotle points out that some mothers will give up their children to be reared by other people, wishing their children the best lives possible even if their child doesn't know his own actual mother, nor accord the woman the respect she deserves as their mother!. As long as the child is doing well, the mother is happy for her child!. That is certainly unconditional love --- without any returned love by a child, who doesn't even know his/her own biological mother --- and with both the mother and the child surviving!.

Finally, "Who is 100% happy, whether or not they've been saved by an act of unconditional love or of self-sacrifice!?" If that is the case (being saved), it would certainly be appropriate to be gratetful!. But if you have a better life, or any life at all, because of an act of truly unconditional love, would you know it, if neither your unconditional benefactor, nor others, ever told you about such an act!.

I'm thinking of mothers who anonymously give their children away to be adopted by depositing them with people who are known to take good care of abandoned infants and find good homes for them, without trying to locate the mothers; which, usually, doesn't happen in North America, but still does, in other places, throughout the world!.

Big Question and a good one as well!.


Who said you have to lose your life saving others!? Who said you have to give up what you want because of others!?
No one!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

there's no answer to that!.

feelings override logic in certain situations!. people are just plain crazy!.

read the selfish gene!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Having bodies can lead us to the illusion that we are separate!. But we are minds and all minds are connected!. What we do to others we do to ourselves and vice verse!.

Sacrifice as doing something that hurts ourselves but helps others is not possible!.Sacrifice as denying the wants of the ego for the God's will that is loving for all, is the true valid sacrifice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

If the mother did not go to save her child, who was selfish!? Mother, naturally!.
I think you have got it muddled up!. Sacrifice is not wanting anything in return!. parents sacrifice their lives, money and desires to bring up their children!. Only to find their children don't want them anymore when they grow old and sickly!. In this case, it is the children who are selfish!.
Your friend dara is wrong when he says, you are being selfish, not wanting your parents to spend money on your treatment!. I think it is v!. noble of you to think this way!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

long story!. and i almost post a question like "when or what situation you can "sacrifice" for love!?) you did first!. so here is my answer!.

love is not love if it is not demonstrative!.
there will be pains instead of joys (in terms of love you posted above),
you have said your purpose for it, you demonstrated it, therefore it will excuse them to be happy instead of grieving!.
it may be illogical, immoral, unethical etc!.!., but the love in their hearts will warm it up, to love more!.
again history of many a great men defy everything for the sake of "love", yet they are excused, forgiven, cleansed, pardoned etc!.!.

does this analogy qualify that some say "love is a god" or its inverse, "god is love"!?Www@QuestionHome@Com