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Question: Teachers acting badly!?
I am a high school teacher who is currently co-leading a Christian club at my school with another teacher, let’s call her Teacher X!. I am a new Christian; Teacher X is a pastor’s wife, she seems to be knowledgeable about the bible, she knows how to pray well!. She was the one who approached me to co-host the Christian club with her!. It seemed like a good idea at the time but I have since regretted my decision!.
Teacher X leads all the meetings; she decides what the students will do and how they will do it!. She makes all the decisions without me and she sends group emails to me and the students with instructions as to what the students and I should do!. In the group email she sent today, she went as far as trying to “discipline” me, for not responding to one of her previous emails!.
Yesterday, she suggested to me in private, that we “cut out” one of the students who has recently lost her mother!. Her reasoning behind her suggestion was that the student was talking too much and thus taking precious time away from others!. I was very shocked with her suggestion and of course objected!.!.!.
I do not know what to make of Ms!. X!. I think that Teacher X sees me as a “rookie” Christian and that maybe she resents me for having good relationships with the students (where I am perceived as the “fun” teacher”)
Teacher X seems like a very nice and polite lady, she often gives good advice to students and she does put a lot of effort into the club!. For these reasons, it is difficult for me to believe that she would be so judgemental and resentful; but I cannot ignore the facts!.
You may be wondering why I am struggling with the option of confronting Teacher X!. Well, it has to be said that in the past I was involved in a rather ugly conflict with another teacher!. Since then, I have worked really hard to ensure that I do not get myself involved in potentially conflictive situations!. I do not want to be seen as a “difficult to get along with” person!.
Should I take the risk and confront Teacher X and risk her spreading rumours about being difficult, or should I take the cowardly way out and make up an excuse for not being able to be involved in the club in the future!?
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It seems hard to give up one student when there is apparent problem with the teacher!. However, it is also not fair for the rest of the class to be distracted by one student's need to talk excessively!. Maybe what that student needed is to be excused for the class, to better deal with mourning!. It is a very specific problem requiring extra attention!.
Since Ms!. X is an experience teacher and seems to be making all the decisions, she might know better of what to do with the situation!. I would talk to her about her/any plan with the one before voicing objection!. It is not for the sake of objection but the benefit of the class as well as the special student to deal with it properly!.
I do not know the reason for her requesting a co-lead in class, maybe she is really looking for an assistant to help manage the numbers, but otherwise her class!. It is important to find out in order to cooperate!.
If Ms!. X does not trust one as a student, she would not trust one as the co-lead!. Not doing homework - not replying her e-mails - would be a real bad examples for the class to follow!.
One of my previous life was a TA in college, but it was not easy because I was teaching to learn and learning to teach at the same time!.
I do not think confrontation and competition are the goals!. The kids should be the priority over everything!. A fun teacher maybe good to hang around with, but it is also important for EVERYONE to learn!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
There are things you can control and there are things you cannot control!. One thing you cannot control is what other people think about you!. You might be able to influence it, but compared to things like your own behaviour, it is not really in the picture!. So the first thing I would recommend is to simply stop worrying about this!.
Part of the reason you are feeling uncomfortable in your present situation is that you are being compromised in some way!. It seems clear that the situation you thought you were getting involved with is not the one it turned out to be!. You have less authority than you expected and you find the decisions made by the person who is in authority to be objectionable to some degree!.
If you knuckle under at this point, you will find yourself in more situations where you are involved with objectionable decisions and even be at least partially responsible for enforcing them!. You cannot take charge of the whole thing yourself; it was not yours to begin with, and you seem to be suggesting that even if it was you wouldn't be able to manage it!.
It seems to me that you do have two choices, but they're not quite the ones you suggest!.
One is to explain to the leader that you don't think you will be able to continue in your current capacity!. This is not cowardly; some people can never admit that they've made a mistake!. In a real sense you never agreed to what is now going on, or you wouldn't have developed a problem with it!.
The other is to continue as you are but REFUSE to do things that you find objectionable!. You do not have to put up with such things and you do not have to co-operate!. This puts the ball in her court!. She can either decide that your principles are incompatible with what she needs done and eliminate you from that position, or she can work around them and stop compromising you!. Neither should be a bad mark against you; again, it is one who agrees with everything who has no integrity!.!.!. THAT is the cowardly option!.
Having morals is not wrong!. Compromising them is!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Is this not representative of the history of the Church!? Power corrupts!.
Just say "I can't do this any more due to artistic differences"!. Doesn't the bible say something about women finding it very hard to wield power without abusing it!? In a Christian organization you should not be #2 to a woman!. Be a man and say "I'm out of here"!. Then kick the dust off your feet and move on!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
"Should I take the risk and confront Teacher X and risk her spreading rumours about being difficult, or should I take the cowardly way out and make up an excuse for not being able to be involved in the club in the future!?"
Whichever way you look at it, whatever decision you will take is a risk!. But what is important is, you will end up more satisfied in your decision!.
You see, we are what we are because of the principles we uphold!. It is our driving force to the decisions we make!.
If i were in your place, I will discuss (not confront as this connotes attacking) Teacher X's ways with her sincerely, and say again in a nice and level-headed way how it is affecting you!.
Make a list of things you would like to bring up with her, keeping in mind that your goal is to enrich your teaching style together for the students' sake!. Keep to your list, be as objective as you can, so that if you are concerned about hurting her feelings and the whole thing turning emotional, you can avoid going in that direction!.
Wait for the right time to speak with her; if possible, maybe invite her out for some light snack!. This would help set the mood!.
I believe that as long as you sincerely believe that your service is FOR the students, then you are headed in the right direction!.
Forget about the past!. Continue to "!.!.!.work really hard to ensure that I do not get myself involved in potentially conflictive situations!.!.!."
Good teachers are never judgmental, as teaching is sincere unconditional service and inspiration!.
Forget your second option!.
Cheers!.Www@QuestionHome@Com