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Question: Is this a deliberate behaviour!?
Whenever my mother talks to me, everything she says seems to be slightly made to make me feel like a bit of a loser, even if it's just subtle, and sometimes when I think our conversation is going well, she'll suddenly say, "shut up!." I want to move away but I'm afraid other people will be just like her!. Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Does it matter if that behavior is deliberate or not!? You're still getting hurt and she still keeps doing it!. Follow your survival instinct and move away from the hurt!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

1!. yes
2!. It reflects her basic insecurity!. It doesn't mean you are a loser, it means she is afraid SHE IS A LOSER!.
3!. We recreate our past wherever we go, subtly or not so subtly!. But knowing this means you can STOP in mid recreation and try and do something else!.
4!. The worst part: If you have had a lifetime of being "diss'd" it will feel comfortable because familiar, even though you are trying to avoid it; and standing up for yourself will often feel as alien as anything you have ever done!. That does not mean you can't effect change!.
5!. The good news: the quickest way to overcome this pattern is to confront it at the source, your mother!.

If you can't fix the problem HERE, it suggests you will not be up to the task later!.

I would be very surprised if I didn't sound like I am describing a "loser scenario" but honestly, it is better to deal with it than to develop "aversion tactics" and never face up to the issues!.

Good Luck Www@QuestionHome@Com

yeah there is this mental thing where everything mothers say it seems like a insult or a put down!. they are just trying to be helpful and if you just think about it you realize that they are not being mean!. but i think maybe your mom has a problem and no not every one is like that!. but just know if the problem is really you then it will follow you but if it is her then you'll be free from it!. sadly you don't always know until you get there which one it is!. if you are over 18 i say move out for a while if you can!. get a feel for standing on your own and being your own person!. if you are under 18 just wait it out!. know that just because people say you are a loser it does not mean that you are and parents can unknowingly do a lot of damage to their kids!. maybe try to talk to her about how what she says effects you!. she might not be meaning it the way it is coming out and going into your ears!. so try to resolve this problem no matter how old you are!. they are the only mother and father that you get!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

oh talk about it!.!.!. my mother is a perfectionist who when visiting my squeaky-clean immaculate white house will see a tiny spec within a 50mile radius!. I think I have finally learnt to appreciate her more now that I'm a mother myself!. I've placed myself in a standard (not as high as hers) but pretty much higher than the average person where I can also be comfortable!. I think it stems from the teaching that mothers just want the best for us!. They mean well I know but sometimes they can be overbearing!. Good news is, not all people are like them!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Repeated behaviors become habits- actions without thought!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

She could be worse!. She could have been a chain smoking alcoholic!. You'll survive!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Don't be so sensitive it may be just out of her Habit!. Take life and people a bit lightly!.Www@QuestionHome@Com