he is encouraging others to make

Question: If one is too good & forgiving, do you think s/he is encouraging others to make more mistakes!.!.!.!.!?

!.!.maybe unintentionally!?!?!?

To stop further mischief/misdeeds, it becomes necessary sometimes to discipline/punish them!.!.!.!.even if it goes against the teachings of the great men like Buddha and Mahatma Gandhi!.!.!.or your own grain!

Do you agree!?

To clarify further, I'm talking about relationships, not governance!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Dear P’quaint, please forgive me if my response is rude or distasteful to you!.
I’ll just speak my mind and it’s going to sound contradicting!.

Nobody is good enough for everybody, even my beloved teacher the Buddha and Mahatma Gandhi are good but yet not good enough to please the old and the new world!.
Not everyone are able to see their goodness and instead their glory have attracted jealousy!.

I commit deeds and face its consequence!.
Others commit deeds and face its consequence!.
There are always penalties and rewards depending on the deeds or misdeeds!.
The contradicting part is, I am no one to forgive anyone yet I asked for your pardon if I hurt you!. Being good and forgiving are not for expressing neither for impressing!.
It’s simply for your own personal cultivation!.

Your posted question has been lingering in my thought ever since I was a boy!. It has made me quite a hot-temper guy, always ready to judge others, always ready to punish others!. I cost me my happiness!. And only the recent year have I manage to get out of it!.

Who am I to judge, who am I to punish!. I am not god!.

Lastly, relationships are awarded to us still by means of our past deeds!.

Good luck my dear lady!.

Here’s one of my experience that I love to share with you!.

I was brought-up in a typical traditional family where the young ones have to and must obey and respect the elders!. (Sound just!?)
My dad is the eldest son of his family, so after my grannies, my dad commands the most respect and authorities!. In his 30s’, he’s a rich and successful businessman!.

………………!.!.To me, he’s a tyrant, a wife-beater, a child hitter, a drunken, a gambler, a playboy and …!.an unreasonable arrogant!. (Sound rude!?!?hmm)
My eldest brother evolves as a tyrant too, expecting obedient from everyone younger than him!. Taking into account that my dad and my eldest brother both, always thought that they are the wisest and cleverest in the family, if not the whole wide world!. In their time, no one dare to oppose them!.
Alone came an asshole, that’s me (sound familiar!?!?!?), who never fail to oppose, argue and challenge them at my age of 9!.
You can imagine how much trophy of bruises I have!.
I’m not here to air my frustration, but to share with you this cute story!.

For Almost 3 decades, my elder brother still insisted that he isn’t wrong!. And sadly, his behavior got worse!.

You may wish to be the punisher, but be warned of the above mention trophy!.
You may wish to be the punisher, but be warned of being trapped in the sea of anger!.
You may wish to be the punisher, but be warned that it costs you your happiness!.

Oh, please forgive me for parking this story here!.

smile

I’m from a Chinese family and for the love and support that you mentioned,
I can only recall that my mom has to settle a family of 6’ expenses for just 300 Singapore dollars per month!. Every week, there’s always a show of flying saucer!. As being the youngest in the family, I am just a cheap labor!. At 9, I start working part-time and still go to school!. At 14, it’s bye bye to school!. Love is not in my shoe!.

Considering the suffers of others, I won’t call myself as unlucky, but on the contrary, extremely lucky for having the chances to learn, to cherish, and to love so many things in life!.

What is so good about material when our senses are so misleaded by our mind!?
What is so good about our mind when it’s so blind by our own greed!?

Never do I enjoy telling this story, but if I choose not telling you, we all live in our tiny little shoe!. As I said, I’m not here to air my frustration, for there’s isn’t any!.
But to share with all, sincerely!.

{{{No matter how my dad treats me, still I love and serve him as a father!.
In his near days, I can see there’s much changes in him!.

No matter how my brother treats me, still I love him as a brother!.
Before anyone of us die, I still stand a chance of moving him!.}}}

I felt this question you posted, very seriously related to me!.
Again, if it’s not properly answered, the meaning of good and forgiving will get tainted!.
Never give up kindness due to suffer!.
Never give up love due to unloved!.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going!.
The fruit by your kindness will sow in time!.
Tasted bitterness, will then you know to cherish True Love!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it's okay to be too good or too forgiving person but then if you're talking about in a relationship or parenting then there's a lot of problems in the relationship or parenting!. The question is that why is the child behaving in a that sort of way that the parent have to keep forgiving him/her!? same goes in a relationship!. Maybe becoz the parents are setting a bad example for the child and they themselves need some help!. Maybe becoz you rely too much on your partner or you're over caring which may led your partner to be abusive or carefree or irresponsible!.

Buddha and Gandhi did forgive but they also set an good example for their enemy to learn and get a sense of what is right or wrong!. Eventually winning them over!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sometimes people need to learn that what they have done really is a mistake, and that they are going to pay the consequences for it!. Though it is more difficult in relationships than in governance to discipline/punish without anger becoming a factor, that is exactly what should be done -punishment/discipline should be an indication that they have done something wrong and need to correct their behavior, not an indication that they have angered you (which will only lead them to insure that they don't anger you, rather than correcting the behavior)!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

After much trying and betrayal and hurt, I concluded that anything "too!.!." is not right!. Balance to everything is of crucial importance!. Being too good is enemy to being good!. Being too easily forgiving is an enemy to forgiving!. Words and attitudes really lose their meaning when used in exaggeration !. Teaching people is by no means punishment!. You cannot forgive someone but you can explain to him WHY you can't do so!. Explain what has really hurt you, explain that we are in all this together and if he keeps on doing evil things he will surely receive such behavior some time in his life!.!. I believe that the hardest lessons are the ones given with Love!. They are hard but are the only ones that really can make the other person better!.
Relationships are not only peaches and cream!.!.!.!. Both parties should know that all kind of behaviors have consequences!. The people we love are not garbage bins!. Patience has limits!. People have self respect!. And most of all, Love's color is not exclusively Pink!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

On the contrary, I think, being forgiving and good sets a good example for others to realize that we are all imperfect!. BUT, it doesn't mean we make ourselves tolerant of other's relentless wrong-doings!. Discipline is one thing, punishment is another!. People always have the chance to learn from their mistakes!. If the mistake made hurt themselves more than others, by chance, they may have already suffered the consequence of their own action!. In that case, what good would it do them if we 'lash' them more!? They may be provoked to strike back,!.!.and then what!? We may possibly retaliate,!.!. and before we know it, the little fire may have damaged more than expected!.
But yes, we need people know if they have done mistakes!. We can tell them how grossly those mistakes can affect theirs, and others lives as well!.!.!.and the call of the grimmest is in no one's hands to blame,!.!.!.but theirs!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

No, forgiveness is something that comes from us, and it in no way implies that anybody is being encouraged to make mistakes or do anything else!. Simply because you find forgiveness in your heart for somebody doesn't mean that you have to give that person the same responsibilities or more ways that they can make mistakes!. If you know the person is mistake-prone, you can forgive them, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be blind to their capacity to mess things up!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

My dad is like this and it is extremely difficult to live with someone who is good and loving if you have jealous negative intentions because love literally eats away hate so evil people will decay around good people!. I know this from my own experiences of being an evil person!. You must give up your desires to hurt others and hate and extend love to all!. Love is so powerful that if you love a jealous person you render him helpless - exposed in the light of truth and reality!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

you can only forgive someone who is repentant!. being repentant means you learned your lesson, feel bad about what you have done, ask forgiveness, and won't do it again!.
well established boundaries important to prevent one from becoming an enabler!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sure, people who allow people to keep committing the same blunders are enablers!. I see this with parents in this generation!. They seem to think they are raising stellar citizens by allowing them to have their own way and there is never a consequence for actions!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I agree, without punishment, one never learns the true consequences of the mistake!. Consequences helps one learn, even if its hard to carry-out the punishment, at least a lesson will be learned!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

No one can be "too" good! God wants us to be as good as we can possibly be! He will take care of all the rest of the stuff, as long as we focus on His will!. All that we are, do and say is for His glory, not ours!Www@QuestionHome@Com

rephrase :

"If one is too good & forgiving, do you think s/he is encouraging others to do the same!.!.!.!.!?"

answer : Yes!.

love
Pluto
Www@QuestionHome@Com

!.!.!.not at all, they are encouraging individual choices!.!.!.

!.!.!.and truly believe no one is perfect!.!.!.hence, they are good & forgiving!.!.!.

!.!.!.i disagree!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Some may take advantage of such attitude!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You may know exactly only if you are good and forgiving!.!.!.do not waist time just be it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com