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Question: Proof of Creation! Edit Please!!?
This is my paragraph about proof of creation!. Please give me some tips and evidence and edit it please!

Thanks in advance!

My piece:

It is known that almost every individual human being will think about where, why and how humans originated!. Whether the human is a she or he, they will wonder all through their life!. As a human being myself, I have thought over that desired question many times!. I have been answered!. God is the all mighty power that decided to create a place as we know as our "Blue Pale Planet", and to place living beings on the tiny planet!. God is the spirit, with you all the time, whether you are lonely or not, and He loves you greatly!. Belief in the existence of God and that God has created life is known as creation!. The belief that all major plants and animals were placed on Earth in their current and final form is part of Creation!.

Recent studies by Japanese and European anthropologists of the ICR - Institute for Creation Research have found that the "Neanderthal brain size at birth was similar to that in recent **** sapiens!.” (Ponce de Leon, M!. S!. et al!. 2008)!. They have also estimated that the growth rate of the Neanderthal baby skulls was as slow, as those of modern human babies; thus proving that Neanderthal babies were human babies!. This supports that major plants and animals on Earth were placed on Earth in their final form!.

Although the extensive evidence provided supports that God has created life, many still are unsure whether or not to believe in creation!. One clever teacher at school asked one of his students, "Do you believe in God!?"
The student answered, "No! I'm an atheist!."
The teacher asked again, "Do you believe in a million dollars!?"
The student replied "Yes"!.
The clever teacher asked "Have you ever seen a million dollar bill!?" and student answered "No!."
The teacher asked back, "Why don't you believe in God then!?"

As demonstrated in this incident, humans believe in things that they have never seen!. When you believe in the existence of God, then you are a theist!. You are a Believer of the truth!. However, when you oppose the truth, then you are an atheist!. Creation supports that Earth was not a spontaneous creation but rather a specific and planned event by our creator, God!.

The study of evolution, states that all living beings have originated from a single cell organism!. However, in no way evolution proves what, how, why, where that single organism originated from!. One explanation of evolution conveys that energy, such as lightning plus matter can occasionally create life!. Recent studies by scientists state that our entire food industry rests on the fact that this had never happened!. They take a jar of peanut butter into consideration!. They examine that it contains matter and exposed to light and heat, however, we never find new life inside, unless an outside life contaminates it!. As stated in evolution that occasionally, but not often, that energy plus matter creates life, and we should occasionally find new life in jars of peanut butter!. However, humans have conducted over a billion experiments every year for over a hundred years and yet, we have not encountered new life!.

Scientific evidence upholds creation, and denies evolution!. According to Newton’s First Law; objects in motion will stay in motion, unless acted upon by an outside force and objects in rest will stay in rest unless acted upon by an outside force!. Obviously at one point or another something had to push things into motion, which was God because if no object was moving, then how could all the particles that formed the Big Bang come together!. The answer is God!. Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Paragraph 1 in the first sentence - There needs to be a comma between 'why' and 'and!.'

Paragraph 2 in the next to last sentence - You have a comma between the words 'slow' and 'as' that is unnecessary!.

Paragraph 2 in parenthesis - Normally, such information is identified in the composition with a superscript number at the end of the relevant sentence!. The actual information itself is posted at the end of the entire composition with the same number used as the superscript to identify which footnote follows which information!.

Paragraph 5 in the first sentence - There is an unnecessary comma between the words 'evolution' and 'states!.

Paragraph 5 in the second sentence - There are 2 things to point out in this one!. First, I believe that it would sound more 'professional' (for lack of better way to put it) were you to state that 'in no way does evolution prove' rather than 'in no way evolution proves!.' Second, there needs to be a conjunction!. In this case, I believe, it should be acceptable to use one of two particular conjunctions!. You may use either 'and' or the word 'or!.' Regardless of which one you use, it should be positioned between the comma after 'why' and before the word 'where!.'

Paragraph 5 in the third sentence - A comma is needed after the word 'lightning' and before the word 'plus!.'

Paragraph 5 in the sixth sentence - It appears to be a little bit of a run together sentence!. Here is my opinion on how it should read - "They examine it to find that it contains matter and expose it to light and heat; however, we never find new life inside unless an outside life contaminates it!." I say that for a couple of reasons!. First, the present tense of 'examine' did not mesh well with the past tense of 'exposed!.' You could also make both tenses past instead of present!. Second, the particular phrase 'they examine that it contains' did not work well with the words 'examine' and 'that' together in the context in which they were given!. When using the word 'however' to join what can easily be 2 sentences on their own, a semi colon is needed to separate the first sentence from the 'however' introduction of the second sentence!. Finally, with the 'however' introduction fixed, the comma between the words 'inside' and 'unless' becomes unnecessary!. It is up for argument as to whether the word 'however' should be capitalized following a semi colon!. Especially given the fact that the thought following it is a full thought capable of standing on its own!.

Paragraph 5 in the seventh sentence - It appears to be another run together sentence!. It would probably be better stated in a way at least similar to this - "It is stated in evolution that occasionally, but not often, energy plus matter creates life!. It would follow that we should occasionally find new life in jars of peanut butter!." I say similar to that because there are a couple other ways you could rewrite it that would be acceptable!. There are 2 main problems with the original sentence!. First, the second 'that' is unnecessary!. Second, all together there are too many commas and conjunctions!. For the most part, that problem is similar to the sixth sentence in this paragraph!.

Paragraph 5 in the last sentence - Your best bet with this would be to create a 2 sentences with the second one starting from the word 'yet!.' If you do so, you would need to do 2 things!. First, drop the 'however' and use 'humans' to start the first one!. Second, do not drop the comma after 'yet!.' That will cause you to drop the now unneeded 'and!.'

Last paragraph in the first sentence - You are using only 2 items with your conjunction!. You do not need the comma separating them!.

Last paragraph second sentence - There isn't much wrong with this except that they need to be more coordinated!. Let me explain!. The first part of Newton's Law you list has a comma separating 'motion' from 'unless!.' You do not have a comma for the second part of that Law!. It would be between 'rest' and 'unless!.' I think that you are just better off leaving that first comma out!.

Last paragraph third sentence - I would make another sentence starting at the point after 'motion!.' This is another case of a thought having been run together!. Instead of using 'which' to start that second sentence, you should use 'that' or 'it!.' Once you do that, you will need to create a comma between 'God' and 'because!.' Another option would be to make that a period instead of a comma and create another sentence by dropping the 'because' introduction and going from there!. also, did you intend for that to be an actual question!? If so, you will need a '!?' placed at the end!.

Sorry if this is a long winded answer!. You asked for editing help and that English teacher hiding in me went to work!Www@QuestionHome@Com

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