Question Home

Position:Home>Philosophy> When in a love affair, do you easily distinguish what is....?


Question: When in a love affair, do you easily distinguish what is!.!.!.!.!?

!.!.!.!. pure love and what is hidden egoism !?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I don't see it that way!.!.!.

All serious long-term relationships start out for me as "love affairs!.!.!."

What separates the two is that a "love affair" becomes a "move-in together for years" thing, and blossoms into true love within a full year of all four seasons living together, and truly bonding in a permanent way!.!.!.

True Love for me doesn't occur until I've been with her for a while!.!.!.and I mean more than just a few weeks!.!.!.enough that I know that I truly love her and come to the decision that I want to spend the rest of my life with her!.!.!.but as experienced people like me know!.!.!.

Just because a long-term relationship, be it marriage or whatever, comes to an end, which wasn't ever planned for, it just happened in the same slow way that true love happened, doesn't take away the importance and success of the loving relationship that lasted while it lasted!.!.!.until it slowly didn't last anymore!.!.!.

A break-up doesn't take away the "Good" memories and the good things that were truly good while they were good!.!.!.

It just means you have to find "new" good memories!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

love is basically more about doing things for the person we love, to get his/her attention, to give out the best we can to him/her so that s/he'll be/feel appreciated and we can be happy with it too!. but that could also be an obsession or stupidity!. it's how you distort it!. while hidden egoism are 2 types: about fulfilling our needs and wants through the qualities available in the person we love OR to prove that we're great out of the ability on getting somebody in our control under the name of "love"!.

there's this drama I watched about a guy who is willing to face all the troubles only to get this girl that he loves!. although most girls would think that he's such a sweet prince, but to look back at it, is it for his love to the girl, or just for the sake of proving that he is great as he could get her!? then i started to recall this dude in a first year's class who can be considered attractive!. he had been staring at me in order to entrap, and everything was too fast that I finally noticed that it was "self egoism"!. although frequently ignored, he never gave up!. but after a few hard times of constant rejections,things has changed on him!. from a totally daring guy who think he's so hot that he can get any girls that he wants, to a guy who suddenly blushes and nervous!. however i still refused him out of religion value!. it's a cruel to be kind thing!. at the end of the day, he finally seemed to quit the game!.

however, speaking of pure love, through many deep thoughts and views, i believe that it never existed among mankind because as we do have the feelings of love, cherish, care and concern, they also come together with the traits of hatred, egoism, selfishness inside apart of wisdom and moral values!. plus, whether to admit or not, we do actually matters qualities to love somebody!. if it isn't really on looks or wealth, it would be on values like smartness, intelligence, kindness, attitude, confidence, greatness or at least in the sense of similarities of self- qualities!.

so there goes questions like: where is true love, since people could love each other, who creates this "love" that we're feeling towards each other!? who gives it to us!? who created us then!? if this is the depth between our love towards each other, then how far is the depth of love between the one who owns this love and us!?

therefore, true love that i had finally discover the answer is only God!. there's an explanation for this, but it might make a bit too long for a post here!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You so need Ayn Rand!.

Ego is what we are!. Life stems from what we desire!.

Love is not selflessness, it is considering the self interest of another as if it were your own!.

Understand!? Love is the extension of self, not the loss of it!.

A love affair means you've found someone to have orgasms with!.
Which is not quite the same thing as you being concerned with your lovers self interest or their being concerned with yours!.

To be honest, love affairs are usually about fun & games, and lack the deep lifelong commitment of marriage & family!.

also, take a good hard look at what you call 'pure' love!. Because a lot of people define this as unconditional love!.
I!.e!. You looking after their interest, but they aren't looking after yours!.

It's perfectly acceptable to feel this way about your child!. It's profoundly stupid to feel this way about your partner!.

Good Luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

nope it may start off as egotosm and end it pure love

or visa versa, sometimes the line cannot be distinguished!.!. often at first it is egotism because we havnt learnt to trust them and once we do it can be pure loveWww@QuestionHome@Com

If one can spot 'hidden egoism' then the love just doesn't remain 'pure'! Any doubt Will cast its shadow!

P!.S!. Hear the Love Guru Speak!!! That's his most open answer till date!.!.!.very human!Www@QuestionHome@Com