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Question: The meaning of forgiveness!?
I have seen both philisophical and spiritual explanations of the "true forgiveness!." One defined it as the point we take our hands off the neck of our trangressor and basically walk away from the trangression consuming us, the wonded party!. Another defined it as the moment you erase the trangression from your mind and treat that person like you did before the trangression!. Still another suggested it's the point where you put the trangressor on the same moral plain as yourself, and still another said it's treating the other mindful that they have this flaw!.
What do you mean when you forgive!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Too often in my life, I submitted to teachers that implied that forgiveness and trust are interchangable and that one cannot be present without the other!. I'm here today to challenge, that not only is this impractical at times but dangerous as well!.
1) Evil ---------------------- ( 0 ) neutrality ------------------- Good
2) When someone breaks my trust, wherever they are on this # line of 'Good and Evil' in my life they take one or multiple steps to the left or towards evil!.!.!.
3) At this point, I have two choices, depending if the relationship is more-right-of-neutral or more-left-of-neutral!.!.!.!.
4) If it is more-right, I may harbor resentment for a time, but with time's passing I'm willing to reset my trust-line to zero, which in this case is actually 'bad' for them in the effect that they've went backwards in the trust-line of my particular relationship with them!.!.!.
5) Yet once reset, I have the option of allowing them to rebuild my trust to them slowly and over-time, where they can once attain my trust-level to where they were once before!.!.!. where allowing them to move even to the slightest degree past zero is an act of trust-building, where re-setting the relationship to zero, in my eyes is an act of forgiveness!.
6) However if my relationship to this person is to the left of Zero!.!.!.!.!. I still may harbor resentment for a while, but instead of resetting the line to zero with the intent of allowing them to build-trust again; I reset it to zero!.!.!.!. that the very resentment I harbor won't consume me!.!.!.!. its a selfish, but self-protective tact!.!.!. and 9 times out of 10, I won't let that person to ever have the capacity to build any sort of relationship with, therefore any amount of trust for!.!.!.!. and if forced to do so, we'll make sure I get to stipulate very narrow-conditions if I'm to interact at all with this individual!.
7) This seems more realistic to me then integrating trust and forgiveness in one dose!.!.!.!. a thought-disorder I would assume that falls to many domestic-violence victims, as well as others in like-circumstances!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
At this point you must get out and try it to see if you like it!. In reality it may be shear hogwash in that the jerks who you are put up to forgive dont deserve such a thing!. But do you deserve to carry the burden on your shoulders!. That is the question!? Do you deserve to harbor all the hate and other related envidious feelings for some person who has transgressed upon you in some way!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think "true forgiveness" is the ability to transcend your pain and reach an internal peace!. When I forgive, it's not about the other person, it's about my own well-being!.
I have to admit though that I'm not always able to do it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it!.”
Mark Twain quotes (American Humorist, Writer and Lecturer!. 1835-1910Www@QuestionHome@Com
I mean I will "overlook" whatever transgression, but that doesnt mean I will forget it!. It becomes a part of that persons demeanor to me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Forgiveness is making the other person believe your ok with everything when in reality your planning a painful revenge!Www@QuestionHome@Com
not taking revenge on them!.
not carrying on their evil legacies!.
giving up on them,!.
and then leaving them into complete hands of God!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
forgive and gorget!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
when you forgive your enemy then you feel at peace!.it is aa positive deed!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
When I forgive I treat the person and talk with the person as though the situation has not happen, but know the person has flaws, and learn from my mistake!. For instance I had a girlfriend who went with a guy I really fell for, however he didn't fall for me the same, so I iced him in the meantime while we were separated, however before we seperated I talked about him to my girlfriend she new his name, and how excited I was about the relationship!. This girlfriend and I lived in the same complex at one time and worked for the same operation, shared coffee, sugar and also because I am in a 12 step program made some of the same meetings ! therefore when he introduced himself to her and started talking about his past relationship, which he did my name came up but she said she didn't think it could have been me! anyway she talked about there relationship at the meetings! I chaired and they both came into a favorite meeting of mine several times!. Eventually he landed a job in a another city she moved with him left her apartment and sold her car!. guess what 3 weeks later she was back here in the city where I live now, she apolized in the meeting and to me privately as well and I felt compassion for her because we were once friends, however I am married to a man more handsome and more of everything now, I do forgive her but I must not be a fool to her ways and keep my man away! but I still care for her, and miss her!. We have lost contact because of our phone situations, but if I saw her today I would give her my number have lunch with her and many other things, but those are her flaws, what I forgot to say is while all this was happening I had to pray for her and him, and God relieved me of my suffering! this was very hard but I had to remember I wasn't perfect either, I had done some wrong also years ago and didn't know it !. So for me to forgive it's not about the person it's about me being able to move on it frees me not them and sometimes people never ask for forgiveness, and those are the hardest sometime to forgive, because if they would simply would ask forgiveness, we would both be freed!. Sometimes a person is so full of pride, ego, shame, and guilt which is fear based they will not come out of them selves, to even ask!. They live in condemation when freedom is so free!. Good question!.Www@QuestionHome@Com