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Position:Home>Philosophy> Older women... when you lost the ability to have children or become pregnant?Question: Older women!.!.!. when you lost the ability to have children or become pregnant!? Did you mourn this loss during menopause!? What truth did you realize from this "mourning"!? For me it is that I am not mourning the loss of the ability of becoming pregnant but rather the ability to create in that area!. Now I must find new avenues for my creative energies!. How about you!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: wow, you have hit a real raw nerve here because I am on the brink of tears, haven't quite let them fall!.!.!.well there they go!. I felt like a huge part of me had died!. My OB said something callous like, oh what a relief now you can leave all that to the "breeders!." I thougt, I liked being a breeder!. I felt special being able to create life, and I felt like a cannon had ripped through my uterus when I stopped!.!.!.!. (deep breath) I can't have any more kids!. I only have one of my own!. He is the light of my life, and I would end my life without him!. I wish so bad I had had more, but he is a special needs kid and it might have been better for him to have all my attention after all!. I see women in the park wtih babies!. I get that lump in the throat!. I see pregnant women and I fell nauseated with envy!. I have two students who are pregnant, both are having girls, and my good wishes and hugs are just a mask!. A mask to hide how bad I feel for myself, which makes me horribly ashamed at myself , me who has everything she wants, feeling jealous and bad!. I should be ashamed!. But these feelings are real , they are right on the edge with me!. What truth have I learned!? That the end of my childbearing years has been much harder on me than I thought it would!. And that it brought with it something almost as unpleasant: the increasing and acute awareness of my own mortality!. I am going to die, my time on Earth is limited, and it grows shorter, faster, each day!. I have also learned that I can make myself feel much better by thinking ahead, of places I plan to go see, and by giving to my two favorite charites, helping families with many many hungry chilren in developing countries!. And by gardening!. Digging in the dirt and planting new tender plants, and digging up dead and dying plants!.!.!.these remind me of the circle of life, of which I am a part, from which I cannot escape!. I am on that treadmill just like the plant that I planted and loved last year but which I ripped out today because it was looking ready to go to the compost heap!. I am not ready to be compost yet!. But that is EXACTLY what menopause think!. as well as the babies that will never more come!.!.!. Blessings to you PC!. I hope you are having an easier passage than I!. Lady MorganaWww@QuestionHome@Com No!. I had already chosen not to have any more children, at least not purposefully!. I did not have myself sterilized, so there was still the possibility of becoming pregnant, but my not being able to have children did not mean that I needed to find new avenues for my creative energies!. Rather, it was the realization that I would be able to fully pursue the creative avenues that I had committed myself to since childhood!. It became a time that I would be able to nurture myself!.!.!.to be my own mother!.Www@QuestionHome@Com You are right!. There are many things in the world waiting for someone to do!. Without all those feminine things disturbing you, you can do your best!.Www@QuestionHome@Com The ability to gestate is not a mandate to do so!. Far too many do so without thinking!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Don't you enjoy sex more now that you know you won't get pregnant !? Hell, If I knew I wasn't going to get pregnant, I would want to get laid 3-4 times a day!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Nope, didn't bother me one bit!. Mourn!? Strange never heard a women call menopause mourning before!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |