How do I rebuild my life and regain confidence in my own abilities?

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Question:

I'm currently in a complicated mess of my own making!. What bothers me is it didn't really have to be that way had I been wiser before!. Immediately after college, I was having it all good- nice job, proper circle of friends and in general, nothing to complain about!. But, all had to be undone due to stupid mistakes which I'll never live down in my life; they've almost brought me on the brink of collapse!.Miserable affairs with bitches and emotionally-insecure tramps, expensive holidaying and credit card bills, mindless buying spree etc!. -

I wasted a good 3 years of my life trying to "find myself" - so, right now I feel like a complete asshole!. In this process, I've hurt MANY people!. also, my once-bright career seems over now although I'm trying to rebuild it - I feel directionless, purposeless and sometimes, negative!.

OK, after all and everything - my priorities are clear and I'm definitely older and wiser!. But, my spirit is extinguished - that superconfident self is no more!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I'm depressed from reading your question, but I can empathize also!. I had to learn to find myself through a maze of adversity (poverty, broken home, dysfunctional relatives, poor health, etc!.)

I feel you are better off because you have experienced so much and are learning from it!. The real payoff will come when you are able to put yourself in gear and become productive!. As you make amends to people you have hurt,
as you work hard at a job and save money, and as you begin to produce some fruit because of your labor, you will build greater self-esteem!. We need to focus on the "HERE AND NOW!." You work toward a goal a little each day, and believe me, things will get easier as you go along!.

I hope you have a counselor and good support system to back you up!. If not, then that should be a goal - find a counselor and work with him to built the support system you need and to help you formulate long term and short term goals!. Good luck to you!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Don't you see,it was precisely your confidence in yourself that led you to believe in your own superior image of yourself!.!.!.you needed to be brought down a peg or two!.!.!.now older,wiser and with some humility you are ready to move forward!.!.!.lesson learned!. Your belief in your abilities was deeply shaken,in time you will trust yourself again!.!.!.!.just be patient and don't fall into the same trap!.!.!.!.!.love MOMWww@QuestionHome@Com

I could write you a whole page about the need for you to STAY optimistic and keep going !.

you have no choice but to keep going !. write down what YOU WANT not what you dont want !.!.!.!. and make it happen !.

"If your going through hell , keep going" - Winston Churchill

and pray it helps !.
Gods blessings !.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Love yourself, we all make mistakes!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well, welcome fellow iniate in life!

Yes, you truly are not alone, it is a club with a very large membership so I hope you can take some comfort from that!.

Through our mistakes we learn and the bigger the mistakes the more we learn!. Through learning we improve and become greater than we were!.

Here is a poem I wrote when I felt like you, it has helped a few people:!.

KEEP THE CANDLE BURNING

Life is like a Candle; it burns brightly!.
The experiences we have are like the wax dripping!.

Sometimes our candle feels snuffed out,
But it is not until the candle burns right down that it truly expires!.

We have to learn how to relight our candle and protect it from the elements,
To put it in a place that it will illuminate, give warmth and let it last as long as possible!.

By doing so we can learn to burn more brightly
And fill our life with light where once there was shadows!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'm not sure if you know the Latin word *super* means "over"!. With that knowledge, your last remark becomes very ironic!.

I think that, from now on, your life, like mine, will be a continuous struggle for confidence!. I'm not saying you won't be overconfident again; but you certainly will not *want* to be again!.

This is life!. What you had before was a delusion!. You were living on a cloud!. Now the highest in your reach is to live higher up the mountain!.

Have you ever been on a mountain and *looked down on clouds*!? That's when you'll know you are higher now than you ever were in your delusion -- which isn't to say you'll be high *enough*!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

you started by the hardest part: admit!.
so you can do the rest! and it is totally up to you!.
Nobody can answer this for you!. You can learn from others' experience!. But you are the only person who knows how to "rebuild your life and "regain confidence in your abilities", because you know where the flaws are , and you are the only one that knows what you really want!.
Don't lose time trying to "find yourself" !.!.!."yourself" is there and all that you can do is to enable it to come out!. Be active, productive and precise! mistakes teach!.!.!.past is past! find a way to renew your spirit, a travel is a good recipe! nothing is impossible! just do it!.
good luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com