i need a hilarious monologue for a freshmen i am responsible for rushing into thespian club, but i cant seem to find anything!.
it has to be super funny and last a minute!.
original works accepted!.
help!Www@QuestionHome@Com
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Position:Home>Performing Arts> Does anyone have a hilarious monologue?Question: Does anyone have a hilarious monologue!? i need a hilarious monologue for a freshmen i am responsible for rushing into thespian club, but i cant seem to find anything!.
it has to be super funny and last a minute!. original works accepted!. help!Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: THE BAPTIST GOURMET G'morin, and welcome to Channel Sixty-four's COOKING WITH TULULA! I'm Tulula Lee May, your Baptist gourmet, and before I lead you in a recipe, I'm gonna lead you in a prayer! "Lordy, Lordy let me learn, not to let my souffle burn, and if it does, o promise me this: someone in my kitchen will like it crisp, amen" Last night I was divinely inspired when the Lord came to me in a dream and said "Tulula, you are my culinary link to humanity!.!.!. I bestow upon you the celestial preparation for fried grits!." Ingredients are hominy, cheese, and (the life giving energy to all the Lord's creatures) fat!. First, we must baptize the ingredients *throws water on ingredients* You're Baptized! You're Baptized! You're Baptized! Next, we finely chop the hominy and cheese, which I have already done, because they won't let me have the air time I need *offstage* isn't that right Jimmy!? *under breath* producer schmoducer-- Next, we take the hominy, the cheese, we put it in the skillet and fry it up! JUST FRY IT UP! IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JUST FRY IT UP!!!!! Whew! This is gonna be a good one!. While we're waiting for the culinary miracle, like waiting for the second coming, I'd like to read some viewer mail!. *picks up stack of mail* preacher Mapplethorpe writes: "Dear Tulula, Thank you for bringing your fried Caesar salad to the church bazaar!. Everyone raved over those cute little baby Jesus cro?tons and the Parmesan cheese was like snow in the manger!" AMEN! Tessie Jo Miller from Duncan Road asks "Dear Tulula, What is the rule of thumb in southern baptist food preparation!?" Tessie! has your cheese dun slid off your cracker!? Just slap some cheese on it and fry it up! JUST FRY IT UP! IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JUST FRY IT UP!!!!! O lord help us all! Sally Dunn from Peachtree Lane asks: "Dear Tulula, How can I make my home-fried taters taste like yours!?" Sally, i seen the way you handle your taters; you just chop 'em all up like they was the devil's spawn!. With every slice, you must instill goodness and ethics and morality!. You must care for them like God cares for us, and your creation will be as perfect as his! Which reminds me!.!.!. Let's resurrect those grits! * taste them* MMmmMM! Just like the Lord would'a made 'em! Now y'all be sure to tell your catholic friends to tune in next week, cause I'm makin' fried Saint Joan kabobs! Bye y'all!! I used this for an audition in December and they loved it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Try something from "Vital Signs" by Jane Martin or "Jack And Jill: A Romance" by Jane Martin!.Www@QuestionHome@Com |