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Question: I would appreciate critiques on the following song that I've written:!?
BEYOND THE SHADOWED REFLECTIONS
(T!. Beechey)

Today is just an echo of a memory
As we journey through the mazes we create
We find ourselves waiting for the promise
That comes too often but often much too late

The reflections that we glimpse in the water
Are not the ones that we've come to know
As we go along trails never trodden
Toward yesterdays not so long ago

Today is just an echo of a memory
As we journey through the mazes we create
We find ourselves waiting for the promise
That comes too often but often much too late

What lies beyond the shadow is the gleaming
Of a dream that time has long held overdue
And the view from here to there is depending
Of the blending of the colors in the hue

And as we dance by the flame of tomorrow
Through the sorrow that is birthed through sacrifice
There's a price that is secretly included:
The interlude between each roll of dice

Today is just an echo of a memory
As we journey through the mazes we create
We find ourselves waiting for the promise
That comes too often but often much too late

There's a message written on a faded passing
A last recollection of a time
Where rhyme and reason have no understanding
And all that's known is spoken by the mime

Today is just an echo of a memory
No more to see than what's been left behind
And all that's left to find within the embers
No one remembers as the years unwindWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I can't find anything wrong with it except the timing of
'That comes too often but often much too late' is hard, I think you should find another word for one of the 'often' words, because it's hard to time!. Other than that I think it's brilliant!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like the complexity of the lyrics, theres a lot of meaning held within those words!.
Its pretty good, however, if it is a song, or to be recorded, I would suggest maybe cutting a verse and adding a bridge section!. This will break it up a little bit or it may get monotonous having the same timing repeating!.

All in all though a great effort! Good luck for the futureWww@QuestionHome@Com

It's true that the four-line stanzas need a break, and also, in order to fit it into a playable song length, you'd need to sing it either as Model-Major-General or!.!.!. with fewer words in a line!. Do you have a melody envisioned!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Honestly!.!.!.!.!.!.!.

i hated it!.

sorry!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i like it :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

One thought!.!.!. maybe consider using less instances of the word "we!." Other than that, it's good!.

Good luck!Www@QuestionHome@Com