How can I make up my own monologue??

Question:It is due by Monday....Any ideas on how to start it and make it funny????

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: It is due by Monday....Any ideas on how to start it and make it funny????

-Make fun of your relatives (they're stock material, guy!).
-Pick the the weird stuff...but not SO weird that others can't relate to it. For example; everyone has an uncle or aunt who's a LIT-TLE OFF! OR who picks their nose. You see?
-Don't be SO mean that the audience starts sticking up for your target.
-Always apologize, JUST a little bit at the end. Hey, if Mencia can do it with race/sex/disability, etc. YOU can do it w/family.

If you're from some boring, well-adjusted, Middle-American family...then that's not where you get your jokes!

try you best and express your self

Use one of your life experiences. I once wrote a monologue based on gaining 10 pounds and not being able to wear my favorite jeans.

Start with your everyday life. Who are the main "characters" in your life and talk about your experiences with them. Embarassing stories are hilarious. Throw in a few antidotes to spice it up.

Pretend you're writing a journal entry. It's basically the same idea.

Be novel....use this situation you're in...and write a monologue about a guy getting ready to audition. Be talking to yourself about how you're going to look, dress, behave, walk in, comb/style your hair, how you should speak (maybe toying with the idea of an accent [for comic relief]), how you'll behave with the director, what you'll say to him/her.
Even that...whether the director is going to be a man or woman could give you material. You could be asking yourself "Well...if its'a woman...should I kinda flirt with her?" "NO! NO! Waitaminute!! Don't do that!!" AND/OR
"Yeah...she'll appreciate what a naturally cool dude I am. She'll see 'star potential' in me the minute I smile her way!"
You can be giving yourself advise and be ridiculing yourself too. Like having an argument with yourself. You could come up with an entertaining and unforgettable scene.
Good Luck..........oops..............break a leg!