Monologue??

Question:I have to find a 2 minute girl monologue for drama tomorrow... any suggestions?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I have to find a 2 minute girl monologue for drama tomorrow... any suggestions?

"I want to talk to you about life. It’s just too difficult to be alive, isn’t it, and try to function? There are all these people to deal with. I tried to buy a can of tuna fish in the supermarket, and there was this person standing right in front of where I wanted to reach out to get the tuna fish, and I waited a while, to see if they’d move, and they didn’t—they were looking at tuna fish too, but they were taking a real long time on it, reading the ingredients on each can like they were a book, a pretty boring book if you ask me, but nobody has; so I waited a long while, and they didn’t move, and I couldn’t get to the tuna fish cans; and I thought about asking them to move, but then they seemed so stupid not to have sensed that I needed to get by them that I had this awful fear that it would do no good, no good at all, to ask them, they’d probably say something like, “We’ll move when we’re goddam ready you nagging b****” and then what would I do? And so then I started to cry out of frustration, quietly, so as not to disturb anyone, and still, even though I was softly sobbing, this stupid person didn’t grasp that I needed to get by them, and so I reached over with my fist, and I brought it down real hard on his head and screamed: “Would you kindly move asshole!!!”

And the person fell to the ground, and looked totally startled, and some child nearby started to cry, and I was still crying, and I couldn’t imagine making use of the tuna fish now anyway, and so I shouted at the child to stop crying—I mean, it was drawing too much attention to me—and I ran out of the supermarket, and I thought, I’ll take a taxi to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, I need to be surrounded with culture right now, not tuna fish."

I like this one from http://notmyshoes.net/monologues/cynthia...

CYNTHIA:

The realization hits me heavily, like a .44 Magnum smashing into my skull. My heart starts beating with a quick dread and my blood freezes in my veins. My stomach does backflips. The ordeal I am about to face is one of the most chilling, grisly, and macabre experiences known to woman.

Dating. I will have to start dating again.

Please, God, no, don't make me do it! I'll be good from now on, I promise! I'll stop feeding the dog hashish! I'll be kind, thoughtful, sober, industrious, anything. But please, God, not the ultimate torture of dating.

That's why I stayed with him for so long, probably. I couldn't stand going through it all again. Sure, he might be a trifle wild and intractable, I kept telling myself, but at least I know I'll get laid tonight, and tomorrow night. At least someone will go to the movies with me and not try to hold my hand.

Hand-holding. The WORST thing about dating. It's the most nerve-wrecking experience! Once I start holding hands, I'm afraid to stop. If I pull my hand away, will he think I'm being cold, or moody? Should I squeeze his hand and kind of wiggle my fingers around suggestively? Or is that too forward? What if my hand is clammy? A clammy hand is more offensive than bad breath or right-wing politics! A clammy hand means you're a lousy lay! Everybody knows that!

And what, dear spiteful God, will I wear?

i remember back in high school a girl did a speech on lady farts. it was hysterical. she resented how men could fart openly and pull my finger comedy. but a girl subject to the same physiological problems- couldnt fart openly. she couldnt even say fart. just let out some air. as if she never ate anything that could have any flavor to it. then she acted like famous people . at the time princess di was alive. so she had a tiara and said chaaarrrrrlllles i have to break wind again. all the way up to roseanne saying excuse me but im gong to fart! anyway if you use hillary on the podium i think it would get a laugh. maybe brittany spears too. then go to whoever is crass in your eyesthats famous. end with it may sound disgusting but in truth im glad its out instead of in and wny is it less disgusting than burp. why would you kiss someone after a burp but not a fart? im not a comedian- but any social protocal like that is beggin for a monalogue. just a thought hope it goes well whatever you use.