Alternate Lyrics to Avenue Q?

Question:I'm performing this song at my high school concert and they asked me to try and find alternate lyrics so that I don't use profanity. I haven't had any luck at all so if someone could help that would be great.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I'm performing this song at my high school concert and they asked me to try and find alternate lyrics so that I don't use profanity. I haven't had any luck at all so if someone could help that would be great.

I don't think you should be doing that show in high school, personally, or anything you'd have to bowdlerize. But what song are you doing? "Avenue Q Theme" doesn't have any profanity. There doesn't seem to be a lot of places where profanity is a rhyme, so you can substitute. "It STINKS to be me" is a little lame, but you could if necessary. WOW instead of the F-exclamation. IN "Purpose" how about "lights a fire under your stool...like a car with a full tank of fuel"
Personally, I think you could easily rewrite this to make it work, but you really don't want to, which is why it's hard for you. I can't say that I blame you; bowdlerizing is always offensive. But on the other hand, when you decided to do something for a high school show, didn't you see this coming? Do they really let you pop off with vulgarities in class without saying anything?