WW2 essay intro CHECK plz =)?

Question:World War II has been considered one of the most horrendous tragedies to ever occur in history. Violence, hostility, death and aggression dominated the 1930s and 1940s in certain European nations. The relentless German leader, Hitler played an important, yet notorious role during this time period. With the rise and domination of fascism in Germany and Italy, the goal to maintain peace, established by the Treaty of Versailles ended up in major disaster. World War II began with the poor economic conditions in Europe after World War I and the confrontation of clashing forms of governments and in the end brought about positive and negative changes.

yeah that thesis is too long =/ and too many ands..idk what is your opinion?

please help me
proofead

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: World War II has been considered one of the most horrendous tragedies to ever occur in history. Violence, hostility, death and aggression dominated the 1930s and 1940s in certain European nations. The relentless German leader, Hitler played an important, yet notorious role during this time period. With the rise and domination of fascism in Germany and Italy, the goal to maintain peace, established by the Treaty of Versailles ended up in major disaster. World War II began with the poor economic conditions in Europe after World War I and the confrontation of clashing forms of governments and in the end brought about positive and negative changes.

yeah that thesis is too long =/ and too many ands..idk what is your opinion?

please help me
proofead

I think that your intro is fine, you have the components that make a well written paper such as continuity over time, a big factor. If you can, try and com/con a concept of your essay with another concept that is occuring/not occuring within another country around the same time/in the past. Just encompass a little more into World War II, just an extremely brief overview until you reach your final statement.

What is your topic going to be the European front of WWII? If so are you going to include Stalin and Mussolini? Is it the perils of war in general? The German aggression starting WWII? If I were you I would specify what about WWII you want to discuss and start from there. WWII is a BROAD topic so you can really go in many directions. Good luck

Take out major, and all wars are considered horrible so you might want to revamp that first statement. The relentless German leader, Hitler played an important, yet notorious role during this time period
maybe: the rent. german leader, Hilter, played one of the most important roles of the era.