Plz grade this paper that my teacher already graded, iam in 6th grade?

Question:Theodore Roosevelt was one of the most important presidents of American history, because he overcame obstacles to become a great leader.
As a child he was born into a wealthy and high society family. He had one brother, Elliott and two sisters, Anna and Corinne. He could have been very spoiled and mean, but he was nice and grateful for things. He loved to study and play with animals. He had his parents set up a room were he had a little zoo for people to come and see animals for free. When he was at his grandmother’s house in New York, he saw Abraham Lincoln’s funeral procession. That is when he said to him self,” I want to become president some day.”
Before he became president he went to college, played sports, and got married. He loved sports like rowing, boxing, hunting, jujitsu, shooting, riding, tennis, and wrestling. He joined Alpha Delta Phi and Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternities. In 1861 he married Alice Hathaway Lee who died during chilld brith. He was a great pres though.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Theodore Roosevelt was one of the most important presidents of American history, because he overcame obstacles to become a great leader.
As a child he was born into a wealthy and high society family. He had one brother, Elliott and two sisters, Anna and Corinne. He could have been very spoiled and mean, but he was nice and grateful for things. He loved to study and play with animals. He had his parents set up a room were he had a little zoo for people to come and see animals for free. When he was at his grandmother’s house in New York, he saw Abraham Lincoln’s funeral procession. That is when he said to him self,” I want to become president some day.”
Before he became president he went to college, played sports, and got married. He loved sports like rowing, boxing, hunting, jujitsu, shooting, riding, tennis, and wrestling. He joined Alpha Delta Phi and Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternities. In 1861 he married Alice Hathaway Lee who died during chilld brith. He was a great pres though.

There is a lot of grammar errors and you started too many sentences with 'he', but for a 6th grader not bad.
Don't know the rubric, so it's hard to grade but, if it's a summary I'd give you an 85-89% (B-B+)

Yes, you are in 6th Grade.

Now, go to the Homework Help category and ask people to grade your paper there.

Whats the rubric? Requirements?
Sorry I cannot jugde with out knowing how long and what you have to include. But for a essay I would grade 70 or less. And short summary 85 or above.

The introduction and body were pretty well organized, but the conclusion wasn't all that great.

Organize your information better and talk more about his accomplishments as president.

yikes a little short isnt it?
im in 6th grade too and i think you might have gotten graded down by syaing he was a great pres though. Instead of He was a great president.

don't say pres that is not going earn you a good grade and mention some things that made him a great president to support what you said about him being a great leader and also use better vocabulary for example instead of mean say malicious or despicable. Teachers love that kind of stuff

If I wrote that for my 6th grade paper I would get a c n/o but It is kinda a little low try using better words

it's hard to say not knowing what you covered in class, but you brought some good points and left out some other key points. you don't really back up your main snetence with a strong argument. for example, he overcame asthma more than being from an upper class, influential family.
when you choose you key point, you need to rpove it with the points that come after it. don't be discouraged. use this as a challenge. write that main sentence, then find the points in your reading and research that will back up that sentence.

Talk about what he did as president.... also mention that he was one fo our greatest American presidents that would help with the Depression. He also made the "Alphabet Soup' in which he began many programs such as the SEC,TVA, and CCC during the depression

i'm curious-what did your teacher grade it as? was it supposed to be just one paragraph?
sentence 4 should probably just be taken out. in sentence 5, it should be "where" not were. himself is one word. your last sentence is pretty terrible, no offense. you should have listed some of his accomplishments that made him a great president instead of just focusing on his early life. if it was a paper you had some time to work on, C. if you just sat down and wrote it, B. that's just my opinion-most teachers have varied methods of grading.