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Question: What kiind of card would the family of the deceased send to people who attended the funeral!?
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If friends or neighbors brought over a covered dish, sent flowers, or sent a card that includes a personal, handwritten note, made a gift to a charity in memory of a loved one, gave a mass card, or performed any act of kindness, it is appropriate to send a card of thanks!. However, it isn't necessary to send a thank you card for attending the funeral!.

"The New Emily Post Ettiquette" suggests that while it is permissable to use printed or engraved cards or else the cards the funeral home supplies with, most importantly, a brief personal, handwritten note below any printed message should be included: "A personal message on a fold-over card is preferable to any printed card, and it takes but a moment to write 'Thank you for your beautiful flowers' or 'Thank you for all your kindness!.' !. !. !. No one expects more than a short message of acknowledgment, but the message should be personal and written by hand!"

Emily Post goes on to add, "Acknowledgments should be written for all personal condolences, for flowers, for Mass cards, for contributions, and for special kindnesses!. They need not be made for printed condolence cards with no personal messag added or for calls at the funeral home!. Letters must also be written to the honorary pallbearers and those who may have served as ushers" (p!. 517)!.

"The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette: A Guide to Contemporary Living" gives the following instructions:

"Whether flowers are sent or donations are made to a charity 'in memoriam' or mass cards are sent from Catholic friends, everything should be acknowledged within a reasonable length of time, preferably within a month!. Morticians usually supply, as part of their service, engraved acknowledgment cards, which can be mailed by the family!. I personally don't like them, as they are cold and impersonal!. A handwritten note from some member of the family is far preferable--even if it is only two sentences: 'You have no idea how much we appreciated your beautiful white carnations!. Thank you for thinking of us at this time!.' When thanking for flowers or letters of sympathy there is no reason not to use your own stationary, provided it is conservation in style" (p!. 277)!.

On a personal note--My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

http://www!.gallerycollection!.com/article!.!.!.

Sympathy Card General Guidelines:

1!.Don't be late!. Mail your sympathy card as soon as possible after learning the difficult news!. Keeping handy an assortment box of classic sympathy cards will help make sure that card gets mailed as quickly as possible, without an extra trip to the store!.
2!.If you don't know the family, but knew the deceased, the proper etiquette is to send the sympathy card to the closest relative of the deceased, who is generally the widow/widower or the eldest child!. If you want to send condolences to a mourning family member or friend but did not know the deceased, address the card to that particular person!.
3!. When signing the sympathy greeting card, be sure to ALWAYS include your LAST name!. No matter how close you are, there could be others who have your same first name!.
4!. Print your return address on the envelope so a THANK YOU card can be sent back to you!.
5!. Your message should be short and simple, the exception being if you were especially close to the person and want to share fond thoughts or memories!.

DO NOT PUT THESE PHRASES IN YOUR MESSAGE:
1!.I know how you feel!.
(Grieving is too personal and unique to the individual to make a statement like this!.)
2!.It was their time!.
3!.You will get over this in time!.
4!. Call me if you need anything!.
(This is too general and could be taxing to the person receiving the card!.)

Sending a greeting card is an excellent way to express your condolences!. Having your sympathy card accompany a gift of flowers or a home cooked meal is also most appreciated!. Remember that those grieving will need your support long after the services have concluded!. Following up with a phone call or Thinking of You card can help to keep the lines of communication open and let the person know that you are available for him or her!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

My family has sent Thank You cards to people who attended, and people who sent flowers!. Take the time to write a small notation of appreciation to them!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

When my parents passed on the funeral home gave small thankyou cards to be sent to those who sent flowers, mass sprituals ect!.!.!. Ask the funeral home director if his home does the same!.Www@QuestionHome@Com