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Question: Help with my confidence!? !?
I love to dance!. However, I'm so shy, and don't know what to say around people I haven't known long!. I would like to start a dance class, but I feel to embarrassed!. I love performing on stage - I can lose myself then!. But, the actual lessons are scary, as I can't think of what to say!. I hate being like that - I really want to dance, and I can't because of my shyness!. Can someone help me!? What should I do!?

Thanks in advance, Jamie!. xx

p!.s!. I'm 12, if that makes any difference!. Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
shyness is a self imposed crippling thing!.

it really is important that you overcome it!.!. it can have quality of life impacting repurcussions if you do not fix this!.

the way to beat shyness is to challenge it!. the core problem is kind of like this i think!.

all the time your growing up!.!. you are exposed to movies!.!. books!.!. storys!.!. etc!.!. in all these !.!. in your mind's eye!.!. you associate yourself with the hero(ine) !.!. you have sort of a self image of who you are!.!. !.!.the hero of all these books and storys!.!.!. then you look in the mirror!.!. and it shocks you!.!. because when you look at yourself you see no hero!. but here's the thing!.!.!.!.

when you look in the mirror it lies!.!.!. YES it lies!.!. a better representation of who you are is what's reflected in your family and friends faces!.!. when they see you walk in the room!!.!. do they smile and say hi !.!. because their day just got a bit brighter!? or do they grimace!.!. turn away in horror !.!. or basically have the same expression u have when you see yourself in the mirror!?

go with what your friends show!.!. you are probably a decent fun valued person!.!.!.

now to the shyness!.!. specifically!.!. you need to take a deep breath!.!. stand up!.!. and challenge your fears!.!. you need to throw yourself to the wolves!.!. face your fears!.!. is the only way to diminish them!.!. (percieved fears!.!. dont face real danger, but shyness is pure perception) you have to just get up and dance!.!. or you have to just get up and give that speech in class!.!. remember they dont see what you see in the mirror!.!. they only see their friend or a nice young shy girl who like them has to get up in front of the class and give a speech!.!. they prob so worried about their speech!.!. they wont notice your (percieved) flaws much!. so face your fears!.!. when you do!.!. you find out!.!. that there was nothing to fear in the first place!.!. nothing!.!. it was all in your mind!.

also even if you do flub it up!.!. you fall dancing!.!. or you speak backwards in your speech!.!. it's ok!.!. smile !.!. laugh!.!. get back up !.!.!. and try again!.!.!.

you grow when you conquor your fears!.!. you are brave!.!. when you are afraid!.!. but do it anyway!.!.!. it's ok to be afraid!.!. it's just how you let that fear effect your behaviour that matters!.!.!.!.

so realize this is all just self induced fear!.!. based on your false perceptions!.!. that you can dissolve that fear!.!. simply by accepting your scared!.!. but do it anyway!.!. soon you'll realize!.!. there was nothing to be afraid of!.!. your perceptions change!.!. and your not afraid anymore


dont be afraid of being embarrased!.!. dont let shyness ruin your life or control your behaviour!.!. you can do it :) i KNOW you can :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I'm similar to you in the sense that I enjoy performing much more than taking a class just because I don't want to be judged by others in it!. But class is a necessity because you must have good training and technique!. So whenever I take class, I go into it telling myself that I'm taking the class for me, not for any one else!. Just try and get into your own world and focus on yourself!. And I agree, sometimes it's very scary!. But class is essential!. Push yourself and take the risk! Best of luck :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

That's great that you love to dance - it was my favorite time of life when I was dancing!! And I know what you mean about "losing yourself" while on stage!

You could say things, like:
-How long have you been dancing!?
-Do you want to become a professional dancer, or is this just for fun!?
-Dancing is so much fun, isn't it!?
-I would love to go to a performing arts school for dancing when I'm older
-What do you like to do besides dancing!?
-I also [pick other stuff you like to do besides dancing]
-What do you want to do when you're older!?
-Www@QuestionHome@Com

Don't worry about it!. The good thing about dancing is that, you don't really have time to talk to people!. And it doesn't matter what people think of you, it matters what you think of yourself!. If you want to take dance lessons, go for it! When you start there, there is usually at least one person who will come up to you and introduce themselves and hang out with you!.
Hope I helped!Www@QuestionHome@Com