Position:Home>Dancing> How do I explain to my bf that belly dancing is not trashy?
Question: How do I explain to my bf that belly dancing is not trashy!?
I want to take a belly dancing class to get in shape but my boyfriend doesn't want me to because he says its trashy and immoral!. I completely disagree with him!. Bellydancing is an art and can be good excercise for the stomach!. I think he is being rediculous and know he's upset with me!. My bf is also overly religious and says classy good girls shouldn't do trashy things such as take a bellydancing class!. How do I explain to him that just because i want to belly dance doesn't mean Im Trashy!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think your best bet here is to arm yourself with knowledge!.
Take a few minutes to research the history of belly dancing!. I took just a few seconds on Wikipedia and learned that its a social dance learned by both men and women in its places of origin!. Perhaps begin a dialogue about men's belly dancing!?
Talk with him about what he's *really* concerned about!. Offer to share with him, if your class permits, invite him to a class so he can see that it has nothing to do with "sex" or being "trashy", but is rather a body-positive form of dance that is really great exercise!.
However, by your own words (your bf is "overly religious") it sounds as though this battle is only symptomatic of a bigger issue in your relationship!.
Is he REALLY that concerned about bellydancing!? Or is this a form of control!? Is he uncomfortable with anything from other cultures that doesn't support and promote his limited world view!? Does your bf understand the difference between sex and sensuality!? Is he sex positive!? Is he body-positive!?
Belly Dancing Classes are a mixed bag (took a few myself and had a blast!), women of all ages, body types and backgrounds!. (Yeah, sometimes a few men too!)
I wish you luck, Belly Dancing Classes are fun, great female-body-positive places, and an incredible workout!. I hope that you and your bf are able to sit down together and have a rational conversation about a beautiful and ancient art form!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
belly dancing is NOT trashy! people may think it is supposed to be a seductive dance but it isn't!. There is a lot more to Belly Dancing than adulating your tummy!. It is actually a highly developed form of dance where you are taught to isolate and control and move every part of your body!. To be a great belly dancer requires the same level dedication and discipline of that of a Ballet dancer!. Belly Dancing is a great exercise regardless of your age and shape!. It’s a great way to burn lots of calories, an excellent workout on the abdominals and for general body toning!. Practicing Belly Dancing will improve your posture, coordination and general awareness of your body!. It will also builds self-esteem and confidence!. Not least of all Belly Dancing is a lot of fun!.
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Well, you need to compromise with him!. First of all, the traditional 'appeal' to belly dancing IS rather trashy!. Second, there's plenty of other things you can do that exercise your stomach!.
Either go and just DO it and take the consequences or work with him to find out a solution, and yes, that MAY mean not taking a belly dancing class!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
i think you need a new boyfriend!. he is obviously just a jealous person, and most likely wont let you take any dancing classes!. jealously is so ugly, and not good for any relationship!. i would also think twice about anyone that would imply in anyway that you are trashy for wanting to try something new and harmless to better yourself!. but maybe you can explain to him that belly dancing doesn't even involve a partner, and its completely solo, unless done with other belly dancers, and still has no physical contact!. maybe he thinks its like stripping!. while the whole time you are fully clothed and really only showing your belly!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is an amazing dance!. The music, the movements, the sensuality!.
The way the dance is portrayed in movies doesn't help your case tho!.
I've gone clubbin and seen more what he is calling "trashy" dancing than belly dancing will ever be!.
Maybe when he sees you dance for him he will change his mind!.
Good luck!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
tell him you can show him in the bed room!.!.!. oh that is trashy huh!?!?!?
um let him know its exercise!. and its an art in a couple of cultures!. and those cultures arent trashy!. and its not like your going to be dancing for other guys!. just him if he wants it!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
You cant explain these things to religious people!. Maybe try explaining the history of the dancing to show him there is a historical aspect!.
And if he doesnt wanrt you doing something as simple as dancing!.!.!.I tyhink it is time to dump his ***!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
In my experience, it is not possible to explain!. He made up his mind before you even said a word!. This type of argument is not possible to win!. No matter what you do or say, he won't be convinced!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
You have received some excellent responses to your question!. It's unfortunate that your bf has such an ignorant opinion of the millions of women all the way from Morocco across Africa and into the Middle East through Iran and the world beyond who have grown with Raqs Sharki (bellydancing) as a normal and natural part of their culture, let alone the thousands of other women who choose to learn this dance form for a myriad of reasons!. It is also highly manipulative of your bf to create a situation in which he is the only one who is allowed to define what it means to be a 'good girl,' and you then have to choose between being labeled by him as either 'trashy' (for choosing to learn something) or 'good' (by obeying his wishes and allowing him to decide what is acceptable behavior for you)!. I have been fortunate to be acquainted with people of diverse ethnic and religious backgrounds and I am already aware firsthand that there are plenty of people who bellydance who adhere to high standards of ethics and morality!. Finding out what specifically he objects to and arming yourself with genuine information does sound like the best way to deal with your bf!. I wish you luck in finding a solution that is acceptable to you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com