Position:Home>Arts & Humanities> Please rate my poem and give feedback??

Question:

Please rate my poem and give feedback??

My Reality


I have a dream
I have a heart
It has a theme
I am an art
You never saw
The truth like me
Told me to face
Reality
I??d never write
I??d never sing
You never knew
How words could sting
I try to find
My self-esteem
To make my own
Identity
To get back up
When you pulled me down
To start a life
All of my own
And now I have defeated you
And even though you never knew
You??re on the ground
While I can fly
Up in the clouds
Of your alibi

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: It's good, I liked it.

You know how you were doing that flow thing with using one single word every now and then? Like, "Reality" and "Identity"??

Using those words that way give it a sort of style, at least thats what I think.

But here's the problem. You used your style in the beginning of the poem (good), the middle of the poem (great), but what about the ending?

I think you should add in one more of those words toward the end... to continue the style.

if that makes sense lol

keep writing,

jaja


*edit* and for this poem, you don't need punctuation... you can add it if you want and it'll be fine, but you don't need it. Since the lines are so short, etc. It's good... good job. And once again, keep writing.

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