My first poem of the day...to a very special woman. comments????

Question:

My first poem of the day...to a very special woman. comments????

twisting away

Wander down to the waterline,
You're twisting away.
The game is over and you can't
Keep twisting away.

I buy myself an orchid at the end of the day,
Please believe me, you can't keep twisting away.
She loves me,
She loves me not.

Whether she knows it or not,
She loves me,
She loves me not.
Whether it's suicide.

Shake the bottle out,
You're shaking it clean.
You shake, quit twisting away,
Take it away, along with my breath.

Crack me open,
Know what I mean?
Shake me,
Shake me.

Slip outside of your mind,
Slip the far side over the ice.
Slide, you're taking it on,
Slip, I hope you're not already gone.

She loves me,
She loves me,
She loves me,
She loves me not.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Steve, that was a really smooth read, solid from beggining to end. Your darker poems may be moving to another site, but that clearly doesn't mean that we won't get good contributions from you here--like this one.

I liked it a lot.