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Question:

Poetry do you think its in me?

You told me that you loved me,
and I knew it was a lie,
When I saw you with another girl,
all I could do was cry.
I stuck with you forever,
yet you still go break my heart,
I dont know why you did it,
and its tearing me apart.
I even tried to fix myself,
but still I was no good,
I dont know why I bothered,
even thinking that I could.
I remember just last week,
when I thought our love was ture,
but now that the truth is told,
I cant stand to look at you.
I wonder if you see,
all the pain thats in my eye,
as tears run down my cheeks,
I am telling you good bye.

<3

His voice can soothe the soul,
His smile can brighten the day,
His eyes can melt a heart,
only he can take breath away.

<3
I somtimes wonder,
why do we fall for people, who are not going to catch us.
why do we wait for people, who are not coming.
why do we try, knowing we will never succeed
and most of all,
why do we get up, knowing everyones gonna put you down.

<3

If only he knew how much i loved him,
That I always think about him,
How I wake up smiling,
Just because he is in my dreams.


am i any good, if so what is your favorite one?


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Yup, you got the gift (or curse...!)

The first one was by far the best. I'm sure there were quite a few edits and time spent balancing, but it was worth it. It's nicely polished.
As a writing exercise it was very good. Your timing and balanced rhythm helped maintain an even pace throughout.

If I had a criticism I'd say that you've over simplified it.
Some more colour, or shading, especially towards the end would lift this to a much higher standard.
Read some more of the classic poets and you'll see how imaginative English can add tone and layers...

All told, well done.
Your pain translates.

I hope he gets piles and that his next sh*t is a hedgehog...
(now that's colour...!)