What do you think of my story ps pretty long?

Question:

What do you think of my story ps pretty long?

Chapter 1
??The Figure??

It was 7 o?? clock just before school and Jason??s parents called to say they will be gone for the day. ??The house is all yours, but don??t throw a party all right????, said Jason??s mother.
??See you guys tomorrow?? Jason hanged up the phone getting ready for school felling lazy and tired. He felt worried for some reason; sensing paranoia like someone was watching him. He went to the restroom to wash his face and looked at himself, seeing his ultra black hair, green eyes, and a scar on his cheek from a car accident. The lights were turning eerie, flickering on and off. ??Someone needs to fix that light?? muttered Jason.
The doorbell ringed and it was Jason??s best friend, Cliff waiting at the door ??Come on you slow poke, my grandma can walk faster and she has one leg!?? yelled Cliff.
??Shut up Cliff, I??m coming?? replied Jason.
??I??m gonna eat your food if you don??t hurry up!?? , Jason and Cliff walked to school talking about rumors and mean teachers, but Jason heard foot steps behind them the entire way. He later saw his crush and one of the prettiest girls in school, Mandy, talking to his enemy, Sam, Jason stared in envy.
??What does he got that I don??t??? asked Jason.
??Quit being jealous, she??ll never like you, no offence.?? Suddenly a scream broke out, it shattered Jason??s ears. He ran toward the scream and Cliff ran after him yelling ??what are you doing, where are you going!??. All he could see at the end of the noise was a dark alleyway and a shadow with piercing eyes staring at him.
??Do you see that Cliff, who is that guy???
??What are you talking about, I don??t see anything.?? Jason could not believe his eyes; the figure vanished like thin air. Jason now had the feeling of a curse in him.

Additional Details

1 week ago
this is just chapter 1 I didnt want to make it very long

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: 1 week ago
this is just chapter 1 I didnt want to make it very long